Karate Cupcake

Weekend Preview

2012-01-19T13:53:00.000-08:00

I'm resting this weekend. I'm not stressed (like I used to be), but I need a few days to recharge. I have a two work-related projects coming up (Valentine's Day is big for massage businesses, and I need to write a first draft of my spring massage menu).

This weekend I will accomplish embarrassingly few tasks (massage laundry, a few workouts, tons of sleep).

I hope I'm ready for the February craziness after such an easy weekend!

No regrets.

2012-01-17T13:05:00.001-08:00

I thought I'd miss my third job a lot more than I do. I miss the laughs, the people, and the discount on clothes.

However, I'm busier than I've ever been with my business. I have more time to enjoy relationships (with my family and my boyfriend). I am not stressed out because I have enough time to work, sleep, eat healthy, and exercise.

I'm happy, and I have no regrets.

http://karatecupcake.com

When I'm stressed, I think about three things.

2012-01-02T21:07:00.000-08:00

When I'm stressed, I think about:
1. my successful, profitable business
2. achieving inward peace (not retail therapy)
3. something - anything - funny

My mom always said, "Happiness is an inside job." I don't claim that she's full of wise advice, but she's absolutely right this time. She was a source of support in my mid-to-late twenties (starting over after dropping out of LSU, starting a business, paying bills, etc).

My business didn't become successful overnight.

I had quite a few setbacks over the years. I'm happy because I choose to not to focus on the things I can't change. I think about how the business I began on a shoestring budget is now paying my bills.

Speaking of paying bills, I don't have a lot of credit card debt.

I used to shop when I got stressed out. It left me with a trunk full of bags and a head full of anxiety. I nearly always returned the impulse purchases, and the cycle prevented me from directly addressing the situations I found stressful. Bonus: fewer stress-induced purchases leads to fewer freak-outs over money.

I laugh when I'm stressed out.

I don't dwell things. I breathe. Sometimes share my ridiculous situation with my sister or mom or boyfriend. I crack a joke. I realize it's not the end of the world to be inconvenienced.

http://karatecupcake.com

A perfect Christmas: short, fun, and pleasant.

2011-12-27T23:09:00.000-08:00

It was the best Christmas of my adult life.

My family ate together and exchanged gifts. My mom loved her iPod Touch, and we've even used FaceTime together using her iPod and my MacBook Pro. I saw everyone in one day (it was too short, but it was fun!). Everyone loved their gifts, too.

Today is my nephew's ninth birthday, so we'll all be together again. FUN!

PS I still don't own anything from my gift post + these cool things:
Polar FT40F heart monitor - Trainerbrands Gym in a Box - money for school

An enigmatic exchange: presents required, presence optional.

2011-12-24T02:16:00.000-08:00

My family rarely plans group outings.
We haven't taken family pictures since 2001.

I am thankful that I'm at least invited to Christmas this year because:
I wasn't invited to Christmas last year.

I asked if last year's gift (a gourmet cake) was acceptable, and Dad said yes. I also heard it was small, but that's probably because they served it to everyone after dinner. This year, my presence is optional, but my presents are not (I checked).

So, I bought presents for everyone. I hope they like them.
If not, I'll book on a flight to Massachusetts to spend next Christmas with my mom's side of the family.

2011 Holiday Hopes

2011-12-19T23:20:00.000-08:00

Considering I was alone all day last Christmas, the bar is set pretty low this year.

I hope my boyfriend's mother's dog doesn’t bite my leg like she did at Thanksgiving.
(update: nope, but I limited my time there)

I hope my parents don't get me another Olive Garden gift card (happens every birthday or Christmas or whenever they remember I exist).
(update: one $25 gift card)

I hope there are no car accidents like several past holidays (including Thanksgiving this year).
(update: nope)

I hope we don't have awkward debates about my religious beliefs (because it's awkward enough continually rejecting invitations to church services).
(update: nope, but I sat awkwardly while they prayed)

I hope I get a few days off work.
(update: yes, but only one day was with my family)

I hope I don't get sick, because being alone was probably the loneliest I've ever felt in my adult life.
(update: I started to get sick, but I rested and I'm fine!)

2011 gift guide

2011-12-15T14:49:00.000-08:00

I'm nearly impossible to buy for. Here are gift ideas (range: $5-$70):

1. Shoes - New Balance: WR860, Asics: Supernova or 2150, etc.
2. Bag - BayanHippo: Euphoria in violet with mustard lining
3. Gift cards - Amazon, West Elm, Sally Beauty

Also: anything purple/gold, LUSH Ocean Salt Cleanser, Ritter Sport chocolate, Obama zip hoodie, money for my education...

career announcement

2011-12-11T17:22:00.001-08:00

NEWS: I'm officially a full time massage therapist (9 mo ahead of my goal).
Last week:
+ no headaches, lots of rest, lots of healthy food, lots of fun, lots of workouts
- being down one job = being down one paycheck...

Next entry: holiday gift ideas... hopefully my boyfriend reads it.

farewell retail

2011-12-06T10:29:00.001-08:00

I put my notice in at my third job about a month ago, and Friday is my last day. I will miss my coworkers, my flexible schedule, and my generous employee discount.

But it is time for me to dedicate myself to my business, my career, and my future. I've used being "busy" as a crutch for not growing my business to its full potential for the last 2.5 years.

Farewell, retail.

PS Catch me on Facebook!

my new twelve hour workweek

2011-11-30T18:43:00.001-08:00

Post count: 99... I've already got an idea for #100!!!

I'll be down to working two jobs at the end of next week!

The toll of being overworked: insomnia, stress, relationship issues... and the headaches! I've been having a minimum of two headaches every week this fall. That can't be normal!

Effective 9 Dec 11, here's my plan for 12* hour workweek:

good rest
good food
good boundaries
good fun (10 additional hours to train, read, nap, whatever)

*Self-employed massage therapists work 1.5-2 hours outside the treatment room for every hour we're giving someone a massage. Add 18-24 work hours on to 12 hours of massaging, and you can see how juggling two additional jobs and trying to finish a college degree and trying to make it to every taekwondo, kickboxing, and MMA class just wasn't working out for me.

GOODBYE RETAIL!
GOODBYE STRESS!
GOODBYE EVERYTHING ELSE THAT I CAN'T HANDLE!
It's time to let someone else deal with it for a change.

2011 Fall Electronic and Designer Gift Guide

2011-11-13T22:39:00.001-08:00

PLEASE DO NOT BUY THESE! I'm going to buy them with my own money (someday).
(Note: I'll post a practical gift guide closer to the holiday season.)

iPad2, 64GB with keyboard, Apple $768 ($768)
SoundLink Wireless Mobile Speaker, Bose ($299)
Kindle Fire, Amazon ($199)

2 x 2 Console Desk, West Elm $379 (Walmart $89)
Quincy iPad Case, Gold + Fuchsia, Jess LC ($80)
Class of '12 round lock Charm and 24" chain, Tiffany & Co. ($240 w/o initials)

@ LSUCIN | KARATECUPCAKE.COM

Finally! No events scheduled today.

2011-11-12T20:30:00.001-08:00

"No Events Scheduled."
I refreshed the calendar app on my phone three times before I realized I had no events today.

Three cool things I've done in the two months I haven't blogged:

built a Hoth replica with my eight-year-old nephew ($75 worth of Legos and glitter)
increased my massage business revenue by adding multi-session packages
found a Dunkin' Donuts while road tripping (hello "everything" bagel!)

You also missed this stuff:

I bought this bedding set from West Elm.
Sis' twins (Thomas the train conductor and a princess) are three now!

Road Trip! I spent a weekend in Indianapolis with my boyfriend.Look at the new sign!
I'm the "massage" in "Salon & Massage!"

change of focus

2011-09-15T17:21:00.001-07:00

I used to look forward to going to taekwondo class, but I don't find it enjoyable anymore.

Instead, I've come to really love my business. It's easy to see measurable results from massage therapy, and I can personally address issues that might arise as they happen.

I feel a lot of encouragement from my peers in massage therapy, especially online.

I also have more time to unwind at night when I don't study taekwondo.

I feel like I accomplish something every single time that I perform a session instead of waiting for two months to pass before having a breakthrough in taekwondo.

Plus, I avoid awkward teacher-student conflict because I'm not around my boyfriend while he's working.

I suppose I'm going to have to rename this blog!

two days

2011-09-06T09:57:00.001-07:00

deleted

self improvement

2011-09-05T04:45:00.000-07:00

I'm doing a lot of homework this month (coincidentally, September is national self improvement month). It's all I did last weekend, and it's all I'll be doing between jobs... until I'm finished next month. Catch you on the flip side!

they'll survive without me

2011-08-18T02:17:00.000-07:00

I feel like I'm treading water an inch below the surface. I take on too much. But I'm standing up for myself. I'm sleeping in til noon today! I'll do homework when I wake up. I want to complete the first lesson by Saturday.

I was supposed to eat lunch with my boyfriend and his mom, but they'll survive without me.

Massage and martial arts
I had a fairly easy workday Wednesday. After work, my boyfriend picked me up and asked me to work on some projects for his business that ended up taking up my evening (designing and editing til almost 1am). I had to rest the computer for a while since it wasn't cooperating (hot?).

I won the battle with a slow computer (but lost tons of progress - boo!) and managed to design my open house materials in 45 minutes. It took me three attempts to find an open Saturday on the calendar, but I officially have an open house date.

I also met the 2am deadline for a 50% discount on Zazzle.
(note: this song just started playing on Spotify... it's my cue to go to sleep!)

handling anxiety lately

2011-08-16T00:34:00.000-07:00

Eye
My eye looks a lot better. It had suddenly become more inflamed in a few days' time (after improving over two weeks). It was the cause of a little worrying, as I'm only guessing that the reason it was so bad was because I'd scratched it on the plane ride home from Massachusetts.

College
I'm still on lesson one. Bummer.

Working out
I've been going to kickboxing class fairly regularly and working out solo, but it's not enough exercise! I need to do taekwondo on the off-days. I need to do something physical every day if I'm going to get a handle on my anxiety.

Business
Speaking of anxiety, I'm a little calmer now that my business has taken on a fairly consistent upswing. I might be able to make a living after all.

I have plans to see my sister this weekend. I'm excited! We're planning her twins' upcoming birthday party. After that, I might go on a date with my boyfriend. It will be fun since we don't spend much quality time together (aside from an hour a day on the couch).

Comeback

2011-08-08T04:44:00.001-07:00

This is the post where I'd discuss my comeback to taekwondo... if I didn't get viral or allergic pink eye.

See you next Tuesday.

progress and Google Plus

2011-07-09T20:37:00.000-07:00

Note: I’m on Google+ now :) http://gplus.to/lsucindy

My top priority is finishing college. How badly do I want to graduate? I quit taekwondo for the time being. I also scaled back my hours at the clothing shop. I am much happier.

I live a block from my (newly relocated) business. I'm still with the same stylist, and we continue to have a great, steady partnership. My next goal is to organize my massage room into an office.

On a personal note, July 4 marked the first anniversary of my boyfriend's father's death.We'll never know why he died. I think his family had a good weekend, though. There were lots of laughs... and food.

About the picture: I took this picture in Madeira Beach, FL. 05/11
I can't wait to go back next spring!

Immature

2011-06-04T09:08:00.001-07:00

Now that I am thirty, it's immature to be ticked that I made plans for my birthday and my mom was almost an hour late and my boyfriend stayed out with his best friend til midnight the night before (didn't get home til 1am)? Right?

This is why I don't make birthday plans. I told everyone not to bother with the airplane ride. It's not worth arguing over. I'm just going to try to enjoy the second half of my day.

rude awakening

2011-05-19T23:39:00.000-07:00

The carrot dangling at the end of this hellish week has been a much-deserved morning off work (Friday). My boyfriend wants me to get up at 8am and drive with him to his doctor appointment an hour away. Every appointment turns into a half-day excursion (traffic, late doctor, lunch/errands since we're already in town). We will barely make it home before I have to go to work.

Boo! It's my morning off. Can't I do what he does on his mornings off?
He sleeps til 1pm, lays in bed or gets on the computer for an hour, takes a shower, dresses, and leaves at 3pm. Rarely (choose one): laundry, cleaning or cooking.

less money, more joy

2011-04-26T02:49:00.003-07:00

If I'm going to be poor, I might as well be happy.

I've decided to return to taekwondo on a half-time basis and wake up thirty minutes early every day to study. Since I quit taekwondo and school to make more money, I'm less happy and more tired.

To nobody's surprise, I have maxed out the number of jobs and hours I can work, and it is still not enough to satisfy my greed.

Instead of calculating how much money I will make for the day before I get out of bed, I will estimate how much I can read before I start my day. I will think about how happy I will be when I find a balance in my life. I will concentrate on staying healthy.

bad storm part 1

2011-04-24T08:51:00.000-07:00

I was nearly asleep when my waterbed snapped apart at 3am Monday.

Background: in my family, we call a string of bad events a bad storm. It usually lasts a day, but my bad storm lasted a full week this time.

The original bad storm happened to my sister when nobody would spend her birthday with her (she volunteered to pay), and my nephew asked his piling, crying heap of a mother if she was having a bad storm.

After spending half an hour trying to help my boyfriend fix the bed, I gave up. I rolled out and inflated the air mattress and took a shower to relax and clear my head. About 4am, I could hear my boyfriend talking to someone. I unfolded the towel around my head and heard him talking to his mother. I went to bed and a few precious hours of sleep.

I looked forward to kickboxing on Monday, but class was cancelled. Oh well, there's always taekwondo... except my last client on Tuesday and I finished too late to go to that class, too.

On Wednesday afternoon, a client recommended that I soundproof my treatment room at the salon since she could hear the stylist talking with her client in the next room. I wouldn't have any clients by the time I raised prices according to the costs of soundproofing the room! I could provide quiet sessions in my home, but I'd sacrifice precious apartment space and a lose level of professionalism provided by a physical office.

After all that, I began to feel nauseated... hello, migraine. I spent the second half of the Wednesday kickboxing class lying on the floor of the dark office.

I skipped taekwondo on Thursday and took a bath in epsom salts to de-stress; the long days of wearing heels on concrete at my part-time day job at the clothing shop are getting to me (emotionally and physically).

Hello, Friday! I slept in, poked around on the computer, and even caught an Earth Day sale:

I bought this on Friday: organic bedding from West Elm at 20% off. $150 for duvet cover and shams. Hey, I had to do something while I waited for 5pm to roll around (last client of the week before my Easter road trip to the country!). She had to cancel (emergency), but at least I could sleep in that morning and set up my new bed. I used to not care what my bedroom looked like, but I figured an aesthetically pleasing environment might help my bedtime anxiety.

I'll end this blog entry by saying I was positively ecstatic by the time my head hit the pillow on Friday night.

Oh, here's a nifty little side note:

I saw this on Saturday: a knockoff at Walmart for just over half the price of my "deal." The color selection at Walmart was brighter than at West Elm, but other than that I'm happy with my purchase. Something tells me I'll need to buy a hand-held steamer to tackle all those little tucks in the cotton fabric.

Massage room update

2011-04-01T13:47:00.001-07:00

I took a picture of my massage room this week since I've made several changes last month. Enjoy.

planning my escape

2011-03-29T23:10:00.001-07:00

The highlight of Tuesday was knowing it would eventually be Wednesday.

My patience is wearing thin as I find it exceedingly challenging to tolerate a select group of individuals on both sides of the counter in what I optimistically label the people-pleasing industry.

I'm not overwhelmed by a single incident; rather, a cumulative history of migraine-inducing interactions has me pondering whether I need to permanently downsize my workload or just take a few personal days to enjoy life outside my normal schedule.

I used to dread days off because I didn't know what to do with myself. Now I celebrate them as opportunities to accomplish as little as possible.

Poetry in dark pink by BayanHippo

2011-03-27T23:02:00.001-07:00

The highlight of last week was receiving my new BayanHippo bag. I was really pleased with the first one (a Christmas gift from my boyfriend), and I decided to treat myself to a second bag.

I special ordered it (pink exterior, grey interior, large pockets for present and future electronic devices, and a longer shoulder strap).

Since the woman lives across the world (somewhere in Turkey) I don't think that three weeks is too long to wait for a quality handmade item to be made and delivered to my front door.

I've been working a lot lately, and I felt like doing something nice for myself as a reward for surviving my crazy schedule.

For my birthday, I just might order a third one with the same specs (except purple and gold). Then again, spending a week at the beach right before my birthday hardly seems like hard work deserving of such a reward.

Perhaps I'll just get a third one anyway. I suppose not every purchase requires justification.

jolt and bolt Saturday

2011-03-26T10:14:00.001-07:00

Every time I woke today, something unfortunate happened.

The first time, my boyfriend's short but exceptionally sharp toenail scratched my tender cankle, and I woke with a jolt.

Assaulted in my haven of rest, I sought refuge on the living room couch to get more rest before going to work on what was supposed to be my day off (not a complaint; rather, I gladly accepted additional work because I'll be given additional pay).

Then twice in the hours that followed, I brusquely lifted my head, panicking about not knowing what day it was or if I overslept or where I was supposed to work or... you get the idea.

At one point, I thought it was really last Thursday. I worried about being in trouble for not showing up promptly at my part-time job and tried to figure out how to dress, eat, pack clothes so I can go directly to the next job, and wake my boyfriend to see if he needed his car or if I was free to take it.

My Google calendars tell me when and where to go, but maybe it wouldn't hurt to put fewer events in them from time to time.

spa sisters, education inspiration

2011-03-16T01:16:00.000-07:00

Fun fact #1: my 77-year-old grandfather executes 1,200 crunches every day... in between stretching and weight lifting for a total of three hours of activity every day.

Fun fact #2: one bottle of new black "shatter" nail polish from OPI costs (and smells) about the same as three gallons of gasoline.

Moving right along...

I had a good overnight visit with my sister, her kids, and my stepsister on Monday. We had a spa evening with mud masks and pedicures.

I was sad about leaving. I'm setting a goal to visit overnight at least every two months; the next visit will be the week before my birthday.

Speaking of my sister, her history instructor is my former instructor and advisor. This teacher was a positive role model. I don't live in an area that puts a great deal of emphasis on women earning advanced degrees, and I don't have any close female relatives who have PhDs.

Her classes served as a way for me to develop the research skills needed to excel at university-level coursework. While I was at LSU, I won an award for research on a position paper that I wrote for Model United Nations, and I truly believe it was because I was exposed to a great MUN program at the community college level.

Anyway, she told my sister to tell me to finish my degree, even if it's just to hang on a wall. I've felt unmotivated lately, and I needed that extra nudge.

Upcoming events: self-defense seminar (3/19), black belt test (April? July?), vacation (May 1-6)

purge urge

2011-03-13T13:35:00.001-07:00

I remember when shopping used to be fun. Now, I just feel guilty about every excess dime I spend.

I've needed (and not needed) a lot of stuff lately, and I have spent a lot of money buying it. Today I'm returning to my frugal lifestyle.

I'm resisting the urge to return it or toss every extra I've ever accumulated.

What's worthy of a celebration?

2011-02-27T21:05:00.000-08:00

Lately I've been searching for something to get me fired up.

The depressing holiday season has come and gone. I was alone with the flu, I wasn't invited to my family's Christmas celebration the following week. It left me feeling mad that I would expect them to remember me. It left me feeling guilty that I can't afford to buy what they ask for.

On a related note, I'm upset that I'm not making enough money to be comfortable. My business suffers when the weather is very good (summer) and very bad (winter). Fortunately, I have a plan for the times I find myself financially strapped.

I'm so focused on taking on any/all shifts to earn extra money that nothing in my life inspires or challenges me. I'm so scared of failing that I can't think of anything in my life worth celebrating.

It puzzles me; on paper, my success is obvious. In life, I want to start over, doing something completely different somewhere else.

I think it's my way of avoiding trauma that might come in the midst of success. It's happened so many times before, and I'm physically sick because I'm worrying about the next big catastrophe.

I want to spend the next week celebrating the happiness in my life. It's exhausting being so sad, and I want to have the energy required for me to achieve my own level of success.

For now, it's time to rest.

Eight Hours

2011-02-23T22:41:00.001-08:00

I have about eight hours before I start the cycle anew: wake up, get ready, stand all day wearing heels on concrete, earning minimum wage, go to the next job, go to the third job, close up shop, and finally get some "me" time...

And by "me" time, I mean beat up the bag, break boards, and polish my taekwondo skills.

I'll end that day dreading the next one, but I always allow eight hours to rest.

Catch you on the flip side!

celebration-free week

2011-02-17T06:04:00.001-08:00

Do you know what it's like for a perpetually optimistic person to have a profoundly shitty week?

I can usually feel good about the future. I'm comforted just knowing that while I'm not experiencing a good week, someone somewhere is having the best week they'll ever have.

My sincere hope is that I discover something to celebrate about this week (aside from knowing I'll never again have to experience this week after Saturday).

I'm already looking for ways to make next week great.

36 bic marker giveaway 1/21/11

2011-01-17T18:40:00.000-08:00

One of my 2011 goals: replicate* the office I had in college. *not possible... it was too awesome to come close to replicating!

I lived in a pretty nice apartment in college... nicer than where I'm living now! It had two walk-in closets (one of which I did not need). I turned the spare into a spectacular office/library. It was borderline legendary in my social circle. I respect office supplies as much as Larry David respects wood (video NSFW).

Q: How much do I covet these markers from Fave Crafts?
A: Too much... far too much.

Nobody wants these bad boys more than I want them... except Martha Stewart, and she's probably got her own brand (update... she does).

I suppose if I had her kind of cheddar, I'd have my own markers, too! It's a good thing Fave Crafts is giving some away, right? Everyone and their monkey can enter by 1/21! Click here to enter.

Fave Crafts is giving away a set of 36 Bic markers. While there is no way that you could possibly want these markers more than I do, I've posted their blog entry here so that you can have a chance at winning them, too.

Bic Mark It Color Collection (originally at http://www.favecrafts.com/sweeps/Bic-Mark-It-Color-Collection)

Bic Mark It Color Collection
Gifted by BIC USA
www.bicmarkit.com
Reviewed by Maria Nerius

The color is long lasting, acid-free, and you can mark on just about any surface from glass, metal, plastic, photo paper, foils, coated, and even oily surfaces. Colors include Petal Pink, Peach Parfait, Summer Melon, Lemon Bliss, Stone Grey, Playful Purple, Hot Aqua, Deep Sea Blue, Woodsy Brown, and For-Ever Green.

Read the full product review here.

Win this Bic Mark It Color Collection!

We are giving one Bic Mark It Color Collection to one lucky winner. Enter with the form BELOW. In addition:

1. If you blog about this giveaway at your blog, we’ll give you an extra entry. Contact us and include a link to the blog post.

2. If you tweet about this giveaway, you’ll get an extra entry. Again, contact us and include a link to the tweet.

3. If you add a link to us on your blogroll or website, we’ll give you an extra entry. Again, contact us!

Contest ends January 21, 2011. You can enter once daily, so return often to improve your chances of winning!

Click here to enter.

100 days til...

2011-01-16T22:33:00.001-08:00

I finally got back into my routine!

Today I beat the tar out of the heavy bag, jogged a bit, and did some more stuff. Fun stuff! Like pad drills, sparring sit-ups (sit up, punch-punch, repeat), lunges, and a few taekwondo forms.

Nothing crazy!

Tomorrow is my day off work! I mean I'll just clean up at the shop a little bit tomorrow night... most of the day will be dedicated to HOMEWORK.

There are only about 100 days standing between me and a luxurious beachfront vacation.

I can't wait!

caramel mentos

2011-01-09T17:06:00.000-08:00

My latest dream: I'm an employee at a Mom & Pop variety-type store. They sell a little bit of everything, and sometimes they get new product samples. I picked up a tube of caramel (non-mint) Mentos from the shelf and chowed down... during my shift! haha

Sadly, the best Mentos are only sold overseas.

In real life: the brothers who created Mentos intended them to be a caramel-mint confection. Mercifully, this abomination was altered to the sweet candy we know today. Chocolate didn't last long, either. However cinnamon, cola, currant, raisin, yogurt, and 194,234* other kinds of Mentos are sold throughout the world... including a caffeinated kind!

*It's more like dozens, but I didn't feel like coming up with an exact number.

mint

2011-01-09T04:12:00.000-08:00

Rarely do I get excited about words. Give me pictures any day!

I heard everyone and their monkeys singing the praises of a financial site called Mint.com, and I joined on a whim. I kept hearing about the colorful charts and bar graphs Mint uses to display what's normally a really boring subject. (Side note: Mint is my homepage now.)

I joined the money-savvy choir and started singing its praises! Mint.com helped me both save and spend my way to occupational success. The timing was perfect, as I got my own place this spring and needed a little bit of assistance juggling the larger income and expenses.

I enjoy the weekly bank balance texts and actually forgot that Mint sends "low balance" alerts because it's been so long since I received one. I was able to boost my savings account and establish a cushion in my checking account. I see a lot of results from using Mint because the graphs are easy to read. They're colorful, and I can create categories like "massage income" and "massage expense" to keep business and personal money separate.

Thanks to Mint, 2010 was my most successful year in business (so far).

I'm excited! I opened my business just a few weeks after moving to this town. I only knew a handful of people, and I am proud of myself for making it this far. While I got my own place last year, my profits kept up with my expenses. I'm no millionaire, but I'll get there someday!

My plan for Sunday is to enjoy a mojito. Get it?

double trouble

2011-01-07T19:21:00.000-08:00

Update: Someone at IDFPR caught the error and mailed my check back to me. Yay! Naturally, they elected to refund the check and not the credit card, allowing them to keep the "convenience" fee. Oh well.

Dear State of Illinois,

Thanks for offering three options for me to renew my massage license.

Unfortunately, my credit card was rejected both online and over the phone; everything is okay on my end, so I'm guessing your system was undergoing maintenance when I tried to renew my license.

With two strikes against me, I used the third option (renew by mail/check). I was surprised that someone had apparently changed his/her mind after multiple rejected attempts online and processed my credit card information anyway.

More than double my license fee is being held by your department of professional regulation (including a processing fee for the credit card that you rejected about four times).

Love,
A massage therapist who doubts you'll refund the double payment. <-- surprised at the refund!!

PS I already notified the credit card company.

working from home on a sick day

2010-12-22T03:36:00.000-08:00

I think I have the flu. Awesome!

I'm following WebMD's flu guide. It's common sense stuff, but having a to-do list provides me with a sense of accomplishment. Liquids? Check. Warm shower? Check. Meds? Check. Rest? Check. OCD? Check, check, check.

Following every step has proven effective! My fever broke in the middle of the night. Naturally, that left me wide awake and looking for something/anything to do.

I can barely sit upright, so my activity choices are currently limited to seated tasks: I just completed a few units of continuing education for my massage license. Tomorrow I plan to complete one final class before renewing my license. I'm not stressed about getting a good grade. CEUs are set up to be pass/fail with unlimited retakes.

Instead of a hippopotamus

2010-12-20T23:36:00.000-08:00

Tthe song's been in my head for two weeks; surprisingly, I found five things I'd rather get for Christmas than a hippopotamus. I struggled to come up with even five things! Chalk it up to years of being poor, but I just don't get giddy when it comes to gifts/Christmas/whatever.

1. gently used massage CDs (instrumental only... like Steven Halpern or Liquid Mind)
2. decent tennis shoes (10.5W: not picky... these look nice!)
3. LSU diploma frame for next year (hopefully)
4. gift cards/certificates (from Sally Beauty, Sweet Creek Herbs, eBay, Amazon)
5. a new bed! my back hurts from the one I have. (something really simple like this or this)

Bonus: hand-held reading device (from: Nook, iPad, Blackberry). Everyone wants one, so it's probably something I would use, especially iPad. I could play Angry Birds on something that I own and quit draining the battery on my boyfriend's DroidX.

It took me forever to even come up with that list. Phew!
I'm honestly fine with a chocolate orange and socks.

helliday season

2010-11-28T23:32:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving 2010 seemed lukewarm, like the vague acknowledgements a person experiences as someone's date for a holiday office party.

My boyfriend picked me up from a seven hour shift (context: heels, retail, Thanksgiving Day) so I could pack for the weekend. It took me about an hour to get ready and another 45 minutes for the two of us to complete the first leg of a 2 1/2 hour trip. I dried my eyes. I went into my sister's workplace while he ran to a convenience store. The fifteen minutes apart effectively defused the argument, but I was still angry... at myself.

I wanted to stay with her, but I didn't want my boyfriend's mother to be disappointed.
I climbed into the car. He continued east: first over the river, then through the woods, into the next time zone, and finally into a Norman Rockwell holiday illustration.

His family stood by the table, waiting for us to join their meal. His mother went to a lot of trouble to feed all of us such a complete and traditional meal. Still, it was not my own family's celebration. I thought I was going to live through one holiday without experiencing the singular brand of dysfunctional camaraderie only one's family can provide... but I was (not) disappointed.

Background: last December, I received a text from my father. His requests: 1) no gifts for adults and 2) very specific Christmas gifts for his stepchildren. I told him I lacked the time and money for Christmas shopping. An extra pay period at the end of December allowed me to stuff a few meager, warm checks into hand-inked envelopes (smaller than his family's requested dollar amount). Gift-centered tension endured through January and ended only after I spent more money than I earned that month.

I will never, ever, ever, ever attempt to buy anyone's love again.

Last Friday after a particularly large second Thanksgiving feast, I found myself alone with my thoughts. I composed and sent a series of four text messages to my father; the texts explained that the expectation of gifts will keep me from spending Christmas with him and his family. I was clear that I felt obligated to spend more money than I could afford to spend and still meet my financial obligations.

I expected him to tell me that I was wrong for feeling guilty.
I expected him to say I should come home anyway.
I expected him to say he understood how I can't afford to keep up with extra financial expectations and still operate my business, pay for my education, and save for my future.
I expected him to comfort me and assure me that at his house, I'll always be welcome, no matter how much or how little money is in my bank account.

He said little more than "no problem."
No problem indeed.

95 percent

2010-11-25T14:39:00.001-08:00

Days like this remind me that I have never been able to love anyone (except my family members) with my whole heart.

I wish Thanksgivings could be like they used to be, especially the ones that fell exactly on my late grandfather's birthday.

He would have been 88 today.

I miss him so much.

on the verge

2010-11-23T03:20:00.000-08:00

I equate success with meeting specific educational and vocational goals.

Sometimes it seems like nothing stands between me and my potential success. Other times I can scarcely comprehend how someone so functional in many ways can be so strongly affected by anxiety.

Do you know that feeling when you're about to cry?

I'm not talking about fighting back tears. I mean to say I've recently experienced the full-body rigidity and tight-chested breathing that comes before a great emotional release. I feel like I'm on the verge of a breakdown... a day-long anxiety attack... all day every day.

I feel weighty. It's physically and emotionally exhausting just to exist on these days.

Each week is a brand-new set of highly stressful situations, but I find it helpful to break down weeks into days and then into hours. This bout of anxiety has challenged me to work harder to overcome it. I feel distracted, but I am not defeated.

I have been through traumas worse than what's going on with me today. In fact, that is the proof I need to believe that I will experience a better tomorrow.

PTSD in the fall: a new plan for success

2010-11-05T13:55:00.000-07:00

I'm almost always full of energy.

The exception: every fall, I am significantly challenged by PTSD. I work to overcome it year-round, but it is always a greater challenge following summer's final farewell.

Every 3-5 years beginning at age 9, something objectively traumatic has happened to me in the fall. In addition to re-living and remembering these events, I worry about the next life-consuming autumn trauma.

Remember: logic does not compute for people with extreme anxiety. Assuring someone with PTSD that "Everything will be okay" is like telling him or her that there will be two Wednesdays next week: impossible. Instead, offer support in whatever capacity you feel comfortable providing.

At any rate, I freeze when the temperature dips.

Fall is a dying time in my life. My productivity tanks. I feel sad that I can't complete the final course for my BA by December (my target date). However, I won't resign from school. Instead, I'll regroup!

I originally chose a December deadline because I seriously thought that in addition to juggling three jobs and martial arts training, I could read for six hours every day and spend another two to three hours writing essays about what I've read. Oh, and I could also do this effectively, earning an A for all assignments and exams. Obviously: OCD + PTSD + ADD = DOA graduation plan. Fortunately, I realized how unrealistic the goal was before I had another breakdown about school.

This fall, I may not avoid all trauma, but I'm prepared to say no to things that overwhelm me. I am prepared to say no to extra commitments. I am prepared to prioritize my health.

distracted and disappointed

2010-10-26T13:35:00.001-07:00

I was supposed to study today; I'm feeling overwhelmed, and I haven't been able to retain even one paragraph of what I've read.

Nothing.

My eyes glazed over as soon as I started to read. My thoughts are elsewhere, and I absentmindedly thumbed through page after page until I got sick of looking the book.

I've worked a lot lately. It sounds great, but I'm nearly three weeks behind on homework (leaving zero chance of graduating in May... awesome).

I got a call from Mom saying my 7-year-old nephew cried and was really sad that I didn't see him break boards for St. Jude on Saturday (like I didn't feel bad enough for missing it). I literally made every effort to be there; I feel selfish and disappointed that I failed him.

I need to sort out some priorities, because I'm not happy with what's going on right now.

a deer's gift

2010-10-20T18:50:00.000-07:00

Shortly after my last blog entry, I was in a car accident.

On September 11, I attended two seminars at Carmi Taekwondo Center (sparring and short stick drills). Afterwards, I drove to Crossville. It was my sister's twins' birthday party as well as the Crossville Fall Festival. It was fun! I got to spend time with my family all day.

My boyfriend and I were 20 minutes into the hour-long drive home, and he hit a deer that was apparently trying to cross from the corn field on the left to the corn field on the right. We were not injured.

The deer totaled the vehicle, which had to be towed from the scene. Fortunately, he had gap insurance. Now, he has a brand new car! Insurance reimbursement has been a nightmare (on the lending side, NOT Geico!), and all I'll say is that I would not recommend Citizens Auto Finance (based in Rhode Island).

Who do I recommend? Rice Motors in Carmi, IL. They let us leave with this gem on Friday:

The dealership only received one Cruze (crystal red, just like the pic). It arrived in Carmi last Wednesday, they serviced it Thursday, and my boyfriend drove it home on Friday. He qualified for the low finance rate, which sweetened the deal.

It felt great to return the old truck we've been driving; his mom was nice enough to loan it to us until we could straighten out our transportation situation. It was a beast to maneuver into and out of the carport, and I was terrified that I would back it into something or someone.

The Cruze looks really sharp. It has lots of bells and whistles (like a large trunk and USB/aux ports), and it can zip into small parking spaces. Did I mention it gets around 36 MPG? Buying a new car is not a very strict punishment for hitting the deer, is it?

PS To all the people in southern Illinois who keep asking about the deer: I don't know.

sorting out priorities

2010-08-23T02:26:00.000-07:00

I did not test for my black belt on Saturday.

Why not?
My top priority has been and will be my education... until I can pay for my next class. That means work, work, work. I missed too much class to be able to say it would have been my best effort.

I'm working all available hours at all of my jobs, even if it's during taekwondo. I'll go back to attending every taekwondo class after I can pay for my English class.

Next time, I'm going to make it happen.
Guaranteed.

forgot her what?

2010-08-19T23:44:00.000-07:00

My mom called me tonight.

By the time she was finished telling her story, I couldn't breathe.
I was laughing too hard!

Mom didn't sleep much today and got called into work a little early this evening. Boo!

She had driven all the way to her workplace and realized she forgot her dentures. Someone covered her shift while she drove home to get them.

I think she needs a day off... to sleep.

No you know where I get my "go, go, go" attitude comes from!

it ended in our favor

2010-08-03T04:07:00.000-07:00

The year 2005 was so traumatic for me that it took two years for my heartache to fade.

In fact, I'm only just beginning to feel comfortable enough to read the angry and hurt journal entries that helped me process such events as my illness after Katrina, engagement abruptly ending, and resignation from LSU with only two classes remaining.

Tonight I read old journal entries. They were really... raw. I can't blame my ex boyfriend's parents for sending me someone else's panties, "bride" Troll doll, curling iron, and hair dryer. They were trying to be nice after their son ended our five-year relationship via a bizarre email that contained the most incoherent confession I've ever read. What's more: he'd been using my credit, so those bills soon flooded my mailbox.

Don't worry, the disputes ended in my favor. Actually, everything ended in my favor!

I own a successful business. I'll be a black belt soon. I've never felt healthier. I'm with a great guy who's never left me at an out-of-town gas station while he drives to his work to get petty cash because the clerk won't take his check. Instead, my new boyfriend kept me company on the phone while I drove through a rough storm. I had to cancel a third because of the bad weather, but those first two dates in June 2006 apparently left him with a good impression of me. After our fifth date, we became exclusive on July 16. By August 13, he told me he loved me.

About six months into our relationship, I wrote:
"I hope this works out because we both deserve to be happy."

I guess everything ended in our favor.

Escamillo and the burger king

2010-08-02T04:55:00.000-07:00

Everyone's encountered a real-life burger king. These adults aren't interested in hearing sides: they give orders, and they want things their way.

I DO recommend listening quietly to BK's side. Give him/her attention. You need BK calm for the next step, so ask if his/her beef's been addressed. You want two things: 1) a satisfied response and 2) an association between this satisfaction and you.

I DON'T recommend being more helpful, like asking if you can get BK some fries. Despite him/her ignoring everyone else involved, most BKs will agree that you've solved the problem just by listening. Next (optional): highlight the advantage of knowing more than one side by throwing BK a verbal "onion" whose layers don't reveal your scathing comeback until after s/he's already walked away.

BOOM! It's a passive-aggressive way to not letting him/her get away with a hissy fit. I try to suppress this urge; I don't like feeling like a torero running from a very angry bull. Oh, and please don't follow my advice. It's mean!

Droid-X-girlfriend

2010-07-28T07:56:00.000-07:00

The average girl might get annoyed if her boyfriend ignored her for 2-3 weeks after he got a new gadget (seriously, it’s like clockwork). However, I like the space. It’s a nice change, and after four years, I expect it!

November 2006 was the month he switched to Mac. For three weeks that fall (including Thanksgiving Day), our only physical contact was a series of elbow jabs to my ribs when he wanted me to see a “cool trick” he just learned.

Side note: He now has an eMac, an iMac, three iPods, and a MacBook. To be fair, he plans to fix the eMac for me to have for my business, which is pretty cool. He promised me a netbook last year, but I don’t dare look a gift horse in the mouth since I don’t even own a computer.

Anyway, two years ago, his Blackberry Storm was the coolest thing. “What didn’t it do?” I wondered as he downloaded app after app.

Last year, he picked up a used iPod Touch. I could almost hear the gears turn as he schemed for ways to get an iPhone (regrettably, AT&T has terrible-to-no coverage in our area).

Late last year, his HDTV was barely out of the box when he popped in Star Wars to test it. His Blu-Ray player came home right after Christmas.

He has complained about his (perfectly fine) Blackberry Storm for half the time he’s owned it, but all that ended today when he activated his shiny new Droid X!

Forget the Blackberry Storm; all I hear about is how the (similar) Droid X is awesome possum. His verdict: “It’s really amazing, but it’s not an iPhone.” Really?

You’d think he just fell in (and out of) love with another woman. I would *definitely* be replaced if he could get a Verizon iPhone that massaged his feet.

What’s that, Verizon? You’re rolling out the iPhone next year?

I’ll start packing…

money in the bank

2010-07-19T00:33:00.000-07:00

While this blog is about training, I thought I'd write a short note on my business.
However, it's worth noting that after taking a few nights off to avoid burnout, I returned to class refreshed last Thursday night!

Back to the blog:
I was in the right place at the right time.

On Sunday, two ladies asked me questions about my business. YES!!! I answered their questions, and I let them each try a product. They complimented me on my office decor (to which I credit everyone who's supported my business, especially my boyfriend who meticulously cleaned paint sprays and splatters on the floor while I worked my second job). They were interested!

Both of these ladies asked me for a business card.
Ladies and gentlemen, that is money in the bank.

People don't want to buy something. They want a solution (usually the best or the cheapest, according to a book I'm reading). Decide which one you offer and build your customer service strategy around it.

When I left these ladies, I thanked them and smiled with my whole face (not a fake smile!).
Next week, I'll follow up. This isn't optional.

image: trainingupdate.org

First, I'll give them a detailed answer to a question that couldn't be answered in our quick exchange (along with a handwritten note thanking them). In the weeks to follow, I'll add a quick hello with their name and a big smile. I might ask them how the information helped them, but they'll probably beat me to the punch. After another week or so, they'll get a perk/VIP offer if they haven't already scheduled.

I'm taking a genuine interest in these ladies.

By letting them see how I treat (potential) clients, I've given them a positive impression of me. They'll mention me to their friends: my challenges are 1) to ensure that everything they say is positive and 2) to ensure their friends receive the same personal treatment they received. This is a quick snapshot of how two happy clients can develop into eight happy clients:

$330 = Two clients x 3 visits/yr

$660 = Two clients x 3 visits/yr + three 1-time referrals each

$1,320 = Two clients x 3 visits/yr + three 3-time referrals each

image: cacofva.com

happy clients = referrals

referrals = more income

more income = better training

better training = better service

better service = happy clients

It's not about getting my "numbers" up. It's about helping more people.

I see every individual as having needs to be met. I don't want people to say, "You should go to Cindy because I get a free _____ with every _ referrals." I want people to say "I go to Cindy because she helped me _____." It's not about frequent flyer miles or 10 punches on a card. It's about making a genuine connection. The rest follows.

My new hero: Miss DC

2010-07-07T13:05:00.000-07:00

Recently, Miss DC did a news piece about receiving inappropriate advances in public from random males. This has happened to me many times, too; like Miss DC, it began around the time I hit puberty. I had a paper route, and guys would catcall while I was delivering papers. I was 14!

I don't go out with any part of my body "on display."

It's just asking for trouble!

I've had the grabbing, the brushing, and the comments.

I've been in public, wearing a tee shirt and jeans, and some bonehead thought it would turn me on if he got aggressive with me. It's not just something that only happens to beauty queens (like Miss DC). Nearly all my female friends have had this happen at least a few times.

It is NOT okay!

I admire her for speaking out. I really admire her for her headlock skillz.

If you know see a girl being harassed ANYWHERE, please help!

Don't assume she knows the guy she's telling "no." Even if she does know him, "no" should be a sufficient reason for a guy to knock it off.

We've all been caught completely off guard.

There ARE guys who physically try to get girls to take them home.

It's happened to me (fortunately, it didn't end in violence!).

Thank you for reading this! :)

defining "important"

2010-07-02T06:15:00.000-07:00

Note: for those of you waiting with bated breath for my thoughts on NPTA Nationals, you'll have to wait. Some things have come up recently, and I need a bit longer for everything to sink in.

"No electronics in the bedroom."

After years of not taking my sleep health seriously, I finally ditched the electronics. I used to get counseling for my anxiety, and that was one of the counselor's suggestions (also: establish a nighttime routine!).

The "no electronics" rule worked wonders for my health!

As an adult, it's a relationship dealbreaker to have phones, televisions, etc in the bedroom. I know guys love electronics (and I do, too!). However, banning electronics was the most effective health decision I've ever made. The improvement in my sleep quantity and quality happened literally overnight.

I hate being so rigid about it, but I really must eliminate distractions so I don't fall asleep while driving or working my jobs.

Being in a relationship adds all sorts of variables to the equation. For example, my boyfriend's getting over some sort of illness (his lumberjack snoring is at an all-time high) and his dad is dying (his phone's always on til he gets "the call"). I'm sympathetic and although my sleep quality has been garbage lately, I don't even consider entertaining any other options until his dad's suffering is over.

I can only handle so much before I lose. my. shit.

I have to work today, including meeting with a new client. My boyfriend's mom called at 6:30am to ask if we were driving three hours to visit today... or tomorrow. I'm too tired to process this, but you can bet it's going to be the topic of conversation at some point in the day.

For now, I'm on the couch trying to get a little rest before it's time to go to work. Six hours of sleep sure isn't going to get me through everything I have to accomplish today, especially if there's a three-hour road trip at the end of it!

transient and training

2010-06-17T09:35:00.000-07:00

I haven't unpacked from my trip to Florida... which was two months ago.

Life's pulling me in many directions.

My boyfriend's father went into a coma the week of Mother's Day and is dying from to complications of an unknown disease. Believe me, if it exists, he's been checked for it... oh, and it came back negative... twice.

I spend weekends at the hospital with my boyfriend and his family. We have "rescheduled" my birthday for July 4th since it didn't happen on June 4th. The infectious disease doctor (Louisville's own Dr. House) signed off on his care but continues to pop in the room and scratch his head. The family seems to be coping as well as can be expected.

Frequent travel has taken a toll on my finances. I have been living on my savings, federal tax refund, and Mother's Day gift certificate sales since massage has slowed down for the summer (it always does) and I haven't worked at my part-time job for two weeks (and won't work next week, either).

Being a saver means I'm not starving... yet. I'm down to my last few hundred dollars that I'd saved for my next college class. I started college over ten years ago. I don't envy people who got a bunch of scholarships and parent assistance. That piece of paper will be expensive, but it will be 100% mine! Until then, I have to try to find a way to stay home and work more so I can afford the last two classes.

I slept at my house for only one night this week. For about six hours.

I don't know when was the last time I slept at home two nights in a row.

My life reminds me of those famous people who buy mansions in California that they never sleep in. Oh yeah, I live in a modest apartment in a small Midwest town. I guess I'm nothing like those famous people.

Being busy feels...lonely.

In a few weeks, I hope to be more grounded and more focused.

We shall see.

How is training going?

I didn't test for my black belt on my birthday. I didn't feel like I could give taekwondo 100% of my effort. I hope to test in August, near the third anniversary of my first belt test. Until then, I'll continue to attend class!

Tuesday night, I visited Carmi's taekwondo school. It was a lot of fun to spar everyone, and I got some fresh insight/critique on my form from a different instructor.

I barely had time to leave before I was in so much pain that I projectile-vomited my post-workout snack. The headache that had been building up all day had finally arrived! Acai juice and yogurt was not fun to upchuck. Then, I dry heaved and dry heaved again (and again) until my body simply quit.

Nothing's the matter; this is the "standard" headache that I get.

Usually I take medicine, but I've been away from home for a while and ran out.

I was in so much pain. Now I'm okay, though!

Today I felt hung over... from a headache! Damn.

Mother's Day weekend wasn't great

2010-05-10T05:17:00.000-07:00

This weekend was not my favorite weekend. I chose money over family: I worked, missing my family's annual get-together for Mother's Day. As soon as I said "yes" to massaging, I instantly regretted it. I regretted it more when, between working and going with my boyfriend to see his family, I didn't get to see my mother the entire weekend.

I volunteered to work Friday at my part-time job. I don't mind to help in a pinch, but I'd accumulated a sleep debt from working the two days prior. Also, The dress code doesn't allow for associates to wear any shoes except dress shoes. If I elevate my feet after work and have my boyfriend massage them, it helps somewhat.

Fortunately, I only had to work a few hours before massaging. My boyfriend helped with my massage laundry so I could go straight from the clothing shop to the salon.

Unfortunately, two fiberglass ceiling tiles had soaked from an upstairs pipe leak, saturating my massage workstation: my towels, sheets, and blankets. My day planner and all my paperwork sitting was ruined, too! My containers had to be washed. I hadn't eaten all day by then. Had my client not been a little bit late, I wouldn't have had time to clean (even with the salon owner and my boyfriend helping a LOT). I wish I didn't know that the building owner knew about this problem all week and did nothing.

I managed to set up for the massage in the room across the hall and tried not to think about the ongoing leak. It leaked when I started renting there and waited almost two weeks for it to be fixed; apparently, it did that before I rented that room, too! I just don't know how long I can stay at a place that isn't maintained.

The massage went well. I don't need much more than an outlet and four walls to massage.

After that, I went to Mom's Night Out at taekwondo. I opened the door and heard thirty screaming children. I resisted the urge to abandon my boyfriend and hide under the covers at home. Instead, I helped out and picked up snacks, took pics/video, and passed out drinks and cookies. For the rest of the weekend, my boyfriend told anyone who would listen that I did not buy Capri Sun. Capri Sun, really? The only reason I didn't go straight home from the salon and skip Mom's Night Out is because I was exhausted. His taekwondo school is two blocks closer to the salon than our apartment is. My new policy: I will buy him anything he needs, but it must be the day before (or earlier). This is part of my plan to end all last-minute shenanigans. I have no idea how long I'll have to hear about the Hawaiian Punch stains, but they're the last ones I'll be blamed for.

After Mom's Night Out, I enjoyed a margarita. A large, delicious margarita.

Ordering a 1/2 pitcher seemed like a bit too much since I had to work both jobs on Saturday, so I only drank in moderation. I no sooner fell asleep on Friday night than I had to wake up on Saturday.

After a few hours at the clothing shop, I went straight to the salon. By now, this shit is getting old. I love work, but it seems like earning a paycheck is all I'm accomplishing. The house is a wreck, and I don't live well when everything is disorganized. Fortunately, my massage room was under control since I massaged back to back until the evening (pun intended).

Strike three for the salon: noise. Children have moved upstairs. In addition to the leaking tiles collapsing onto my work station, at least one child has taken to running across the floor and banging things on it. I was livid. There's no way the parent didn't hear that child. There's no way the parent doesn't know they live on top of a day spa. There's no way the building owner didn't know they had kids and rented to them, knowing what his current renters' needs are.

It got really old having to apologize to clients for a noise that I SWEAR never happened before. I've had clients complain about noise there before, and it was nothing compared to the crash fest this weekend.

I let the salon owner know I was unhappy. How it's handled determines my next step.

I set a goal not to worry about the salon for the rest of the weekend. Mission accomplished!

I'm budget conscious, but I'm a big fan of learning what my own time is worth. I took my boyfriend out for pizza for his help this week. I couldn't have juggled two jobs without him. Then, I came home to shower and change clothes before watching UFC at the local bar, which was great because I could tell I'd be unable to get up early and shower the next day. I am surprisingly not as bummed as I thought I'd be since Machida lost vs. Shogun in the rematch. I don't seem to mind the added disappointment (seeing as how Shogun won so decisively this time).

It was like pulling teeth to get motivated on Sunday. I was incoherent. I was confused. I was hungry. Driving by McDonald's on the way out of town, I asked my boyfriend why we weren't getting breakfast on the way to see his family. He said dinner would be ready, and he wasn't stopping. Uh, I was up involuntarily before nine, and compensation in edible form was going to happen one way or another.

Side note: just because someone stops for breakfast for a 1-hour road trip without being asked does NOT assume that said person will stop or will even want to stop for a 2-hour road trip after being asked. Always clarify breakfast plans the night before, or someone in the car will be unhappy. Also, don't trust anyone who says the meal will be ready upon arrival. Gambling with one's appetite? Crazy!

We stopped at the next bump in the road, and I experienced a delicious blueberry biscuit from Hardee's. They are inexpensive and tasty. If you don't worry about nutrition, order two. Yum.

Almost 2 1/2 hours later, we arrived in Bumblescum, Indiana. I had to pee. Nathan had to pee. We walked all the way around the house and knocked on all the doors. We heard the dog bark incessantly. Nathan peed outside. We were starting to think we were alone! Finally his father got up and let us in.

A few minutes later, my boyfriend's mother and sisters arrived. "At least an hour" for lunch to cook? That's fine. I had breakfast, remember? That's when my boyfriend announced he was going to see his grandmother on the way back. I was pretty surprised, since I assumed we'd see my mom after spending all day with his family. All he said was "oh" when I told him that.

It was nice to eat outside with his family, partially because it was really pretty and partially because my indoor allergies were starting to get unbearable. It was a welcome reprieve to treat them to ice cream (and to go get it from town); however, when we got back, my allergies came back, too. I was miserable the entire afternoon, and I'm still not recovered.

Then, the dog bit my jeans. I felt it on my skin, but it didn't break the skin or anything too serious. The first time the dog bit me was a few years ago. It latched onto my calf muscle and only let go when I JUMPED higher than it wanted to fly. The dog runs wild, barks, nips, and is undisciplined at worst, inconsistently disciplined at best. I don't know what else to say other than between the allergies and the canine equivalent of one of Bebe's kids, that's not a place I want to be.

We didn't really discuss going to see his grandmother beyond his announcement.

I realize she's the only grandparent he has left, but it bugs me that all she does is complain and feel sorry for herself. It's not an exaggeration to say that she complained for the duration of our visit, which was mercifully under 90 minutes. I didn't say a word for over 45 minutes, mostly because she did all the talking, but partially because I was sick and exhausted. She did ask me if I was sick (because I was quiet and not engaged), but it doesn't do any good to participate. I only said, "No, I just work a lot." It seems like that was sufficient interaction, because she turned the "conversation" back on herself.

It was really sad that the only good thing to say about her Mother's Day meal was that she liked the broccoli soup. The remainder of the conversation was about her dissatisfaction with things like $400 orthotics and an emergency bracelet.

I've suggested physical therapy, counseling, etc to her and my boyfriend's family. It's obvious she is depressed, has anxiety, and relives bad experiences by telling them over and over. She's having a hard time adapting to the loss of mobility. I've even suggested replacing her upright vacuum with a handheld since she seems to be unwilling to put her health before her pride. I feel bad that she's suffered so many injuries as a result of her trying to keep her house vacuumed, but the woman has fallen and broken bones because she ignores advice from her family and physician to let someone else help.

I've been with my boyfriend for almost four years, and it hasn't done one damn bit of good to offer to help or even offer to find resources. If she wants to complain, I'm going to let her family deal with it. I don't think that's mean; that's what I do with my own family members if they don't want to improve. It's hard to let that happen. I don't like it. But nothing I do will change what someone else wants to say, think, and feel.

I am over the moon about not having to work a lot this week. That may change, but at least I will have time to recover today.

fashion and family

2010-03-19T00:56:00.000-07:00

In this mini-entry:

Fashion: my part-time job
Family: my reason for working part-time

In the last blog ("Spring Forward"), I didn't mention my part-time job. I'm fortunate to have a manager who works around massage, taekwondo, and family duties. In December, I won a Christmas-time sales contest. Today I find out if I won the St. Patrick's Day contest. I love massaging, but it's nice to earn a little money without running the show.

I don't work too many hours there, and the extra money usually goes towards my sister's kids' clothes, haircut/gas/whatever, or a meal at a restaurant. She works really hard, and I admire her courage to raise three kids without support, attend college (4.0!), and work a part-time job. A few extras here and there is the very least I can do to help her while she's helping herself and her kids!

spring forward

2010-03-19T00:19:00.000-07:00

It's ready!
Wait, what? You know those annoying bloggers who promise to post 1,000 amazing photos ASAP? I prefer to actually post one mediocre photo! Believe me, you're better off with a brief account of the last two months: measuring, sanding, priming, painting, scraping, decorating, etc.

My latest project:

My NEW massage room!

Glamorous Salon and Massage

426 Whittle Ave in Olney, IL 62450
schedule massage 24/7

I have a full day of massaging today, and everyone scheduled the same thing: "Sweet Feet."

"Sweet Feet" includes a traditional massage (60min) followed by a 3-step foot treatment (15min). I'm seated for 15 minutes while I work on the client's feet, which comes in handy when I'm scheduled back-to-back (terrible pun intended).

Well, what else is new?

My taekwondo school raised $600+ for Haiti.

My next entry will preview Season 11 of The Ultimate Fighter. I'm not sure what's going to happen in TUF 11, but I really hope it's not Jersey Shore-level drama.

If you can't wait, check out this video of a fellow student at Olney Taekwondo Center. He's breaking a board over four obstacles (in this case, other students). On Wednesday night I was the obstacle, but I've managed to stay out of this video.

Watch Mr. Matthew De Venecia, OTC black belt student, fly in the air!

Mr. Nathan Wheatley, Owner/Chief Instructor
Olney Taekwondo Center
233 E. Main St. Olney, IL 62450
http://olneytkd.com
(618) 392-3800

black belt progress and requirements

2010-01-27T01:09:00.000-08:00

Coming soon: my progression from white to black belt!

I began as a white belt in June 2007 (well, the last week of June!).

Every 2-3 months, I tested for a new rank (and new belt) until last year. The higher my rank gets, the less frequently I test for a new belt/rank.

I'm the only one who has stuck with it out of all of the students who started at the same time I did! It's not rare, though; students drop out for many reasons.

I'm asked this question a lot:

"How long does it take for the average person to get a black belt?"

This is my answer:

"Average people don't earn black belts."

Ladies and gentlemen, I present the run and jump side kick:

Lucky me: this is the technique I'll do when I test for black belt.

A note on boards:
These are not pine boards, which will break anywhere in the board. We use rebreakable boards made of molded plastic, which have ONE seam. This encourages students not only to have sufficient power but finesse (accuracy!).

Current requirements:

I may leave something out, but you get the idea!

demonstrate proficiency of my current form (44 moves)
demonstrate knowledge of all previous forms (9 total)
demonstrate knowledge of an "old school" form (meaning: a rank-appropriate, historically signficant form that my style no longer uses)
demonstrate "black belt" level sparring
demonstrate spontaneous self-defense techniques against multiple black belt students/instructors attacking simultaneously
break boards (currently: side kick at face height, back elbow)
essay chronicling my journey from white to black belt
question/answer before a panel of black belt instructors from neighboring schools

TUF 10: not awesome

2009-12-03T00:36:00.000-08:00

I completely forgot about wanting to blog about this season of TUF until I looked back at previous blog entries. Here's my thoughts on the overall season, since it really only warrants one entry anyway.

I wasn't impressed with the Rashad-Rampage drama. It ruined the season for me, to be honest.

I think the show is good for showcasing up-and-coming talent, but I wasn't sold on the explosive star power of veterans like Roy Nelson and Wes Sims. I'm not getting what I want to get out of TUF seasons: raw, new talent being coached and polished into a new crop professional fighters.

On Rampage v. Rashad (the TV drama, not the fight that'll never happen)
I didn't tune in to see Rampage pick one guy to carry to the end and forget the others, but I didn't tune in to see Rashad vastly outclass and outcoach Rampage, either. Is it too much to ask for a level playing field, with two head coaches that are in it to win it, as well as every fighter bringing his A-game?

Why bother showing up?
I understand some contestants are only there to "see what happens." I don't blame them! It's part reality show, part job interview, part life experience. However, from Rampage's show footage and media quotes, it seems like he was just killing time before his movie career started. He disappoints me and didn't seem like much of a coach or an MMA fighter. I was disappointed that he lost his cool and destroyed a door. I used to like him.

How awesome are you?
Rashad was a better coach than Rampage, but he wasn't a better man. There's no need to trash talk that much when your last fight ended in a KO that you weren't even conscious to witness. Those punches that felt like pillows? That was Machida finding his range so he could knock you out. Please keep all talk of how awesome you are limited to the people who ask you how awesome you are.

Big baby = big bucks
A classmate in taekwondo called it: Marcus Jones is going to go far in MMA. He actually predicted Jones to win, but I'll give him credit for seeing Jones' potential. He's only been fighting for a few years, and he's made it to the top MMA league in the world. He impressed me with his acumen, agility, and brute strength. I foresee a high dollar contract. He's got his act together, and he's got the drive to train and fight hard. I feel sorry for his opponents: the dude is terrifying when he's angry!

Looking forward to TUF 11?
I still enjoyed this season more than the Browning-infested previous debacles, but I think I can get by with an abbreviated version of TUF 11: fight clips.

results of 11/14 tournament

2009-12-03T00:10:00.000-08:00

I competed at the local martial arts tournament and did really well: 2nd free sparring, 3rd grappling, 4th traditional forms. There's not much to say other than one of my two takedowns was not scored. That's because only one was in grappling. Yep, I took down my opponent in one of the sparring matches (not cool! but it was an accident).

Afterwards, we had a cookout and I watched (but did not participate in) flag football until the sun went down. My sister brought my nephew (he competed: first place in his ring!). It was a fun day, but I'm glad my school doesn't host another one until next fall.

RJSK update: make that JSK.

2009-12-03T00:00:00.000-08:00

Remove the "R."

I'm just jumping and side kicking! I kept psyching myself out of kicking during the run of the RJSK (run and jump side kick). Now, there's nothing to run from or to because I'm no longer running at all!

I'm making steady progress on RJSK... er, JSK.

I'm scared I'll injure someone (myself?) and always pull back before breaking the board. It's not that I don't have enough power (I do) or that I don't hit the seam (I do). My new goal is to overcome the fear of injury and at least hit with enough force to break it.

Other News!
I'm extremely unhappy with life. I'm too busy to do almost anything except work. Between massage, a part-time job at a clothing shop, and helping three nights a week at taekwondo as well as taking 4 classes a week there, it's a wonder I have time for fun at all. I feel ready to snap at the slightest setback! Sometimes (like tonight) I stay up to make time to think, to plan, to shower. I constantly say to myself, "I really, really need a huge break." Last week was Thanksgiving, and the highlight of my weekend was sleeping in. I am always busy. On top of that, I'm feeling burned out and stuck. I hate being so unhappy, but I've gotten this far by telling myself that it's only temporary.

The bright side-ish
On the few days off work around the holidays, I'm really only trading in work for last-minute shopping, hours on the road and long days away from my warm bed. Over the past few months, I've gone from loving every aspect of my life to resenting the majority of aspects.

Resolution

It frustrates me that I'm not finished with my degree. It frustrates me that that I barely have time to study because I'm so busy trying to afford it. It frustrates me that I've allowed all of this to go on for so long, and reading what I've written reinforces that my next blog will be about a big change I've decided to make. It's lame for me to call it a resolution, but I suppose that's what it's called when one makes changes for the new year ahead.

RJSK

2009-11-06T17:25:00.000-08:00

If you're new, here's a brief rundown of where I'm at in my training.

I've trained for a few years, and in December I'll test for black belt. The test takes several hours to complete, and I'm prepared for nearly every aspect of the exam. However, I'm still working on the run and jump side kick (RJSK).

Believe it or not, I fare better without the running! I'm making more progress with a straight jump side kick (or even a step up side kick). It needs to be face high at the December test, but I'm almost there already, and I only started doing it this week.

Skip to 2:10 if you just want to see the break. This video is thorough. It's similar (but not identical) to what I do. The setup and height are the same (face high), but I'll break the board with the near leg, not the far leg.

Video: Master Gary Wayne http://www.mtdorakarate.com/

11/14 tournament update

2009-11-04T23:18:00.000-08:00

I'm competing in grappling on November 14.

I study grappling, but I don't feel confident on the ground because I'm not as fast or as strong as the guys I train with. Nobody forced me to sign up, but I was certainly strongly encouraged to do it. I'm not 100% convinced it is the right thing to do. Oh well. There's no turning back, and I might like it if I just try it, right? One guy I roll with says I "can pass guard all day." But uh, I'm worried about what to do after that! I've only had one really convincing sweep, and nobody was more surprised than I was!

This brings the tally to a total of three categories: grappling, traditional taekwondo form, and free sparring. I'm a bit distracted by the upcoming fights and training in Chicago, but next week it's business as usual.

training in Chicago

2009-11-04T23:17:00.000-08:00

I'm attending an MMA judging seminar in Chicago on Saturday. John McCarthy is presenting, and I'm excited! Attendees were eligible to book a hotel for $20 cheaper as well as pick up deeply discounted tickets to Saturday's Strikeforce event. At first, I thought I couldn't swing the tickets. I couldn't turn down a $100+ ticket for just $30. I guess I'll eat Ramen for a few weeks (not really, but my budget will be tight for a bit).

The seminar is in Elgin, and the fights are in Hoffman Estates (so, not technically Chicago, but it's as close as I've been for 15 years aside from a few layovers at O'Hare!).

I'm looking forward to eating at Bennigan's. I shouldn't eat junk, but this blog isn't called Karate "Healthy food enthusiast." I do eat better than a lot of people, but I wouldn't say I'm setting a great example by ordering a Monte Cristo from Bennigan's, even if I do take half of it home with me.

Anyway, I'm super excited about this weekend for a number of reasons!

first local tournament

2009-10-23T23:36:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow (10/24) is the taekwondo test at my training facility. For two months, I've worked on RJSK (for new readers, that's run-and-jump side kick and breaking a board as strong as 1.75 human ribs). I'm not quite ready to advance in rank, so I'm only attending this test. That's fine with me; since tomorrow is also UFC 104 (there's a viewing party at my house!).

Truly, my focus is not the test or UFC, it's the upcoming local competition.

What: Taekwondo / Martial Arts tournament

When: Saturday, November 14 at St. Joe

I'm competing in traditional taekwondo forms and free sparring. One of the regular tournament-goers is a world champion! I enjoy competing against talented people; we always have a lot of fun. Our schools (3 local) have a good time, and we socialize after the tournament. In addition to taekwondo forms and free sparring, there are three grappling divisions. Unfortunately, none are for adult women (two for men, one for children). So, just forms and sparring for me.

Unfortunately, I'm still adjusting to the new training schedule.

My MMA class recently moved from Saturday morning to Wednesday afternoon. I'm on my feet at work all day, then cardio kickboxing and then MMA. I don't have time or energy to cook supper! Then, I have to get up early the next day (and go straight to taekwondo after that). Either I'm training too hard (unlikely), or I need to change my schedule. As it is, I'm too tired. I don't want to change anything until after the tournament, though.

If you're local: I'll see you at the tournament 11/14!
I'll have lots to talk about, since I'm going to a special MMA seminar Nov. 9th.

anatomy of a snack: Fiber One

2009-09-22T16:52:00.000-07:00

Over the weekend, my boyfriend made a trip to the store. I typically eat fiber or granola bars when I'm out and don't want to chew off my left arm before I die of starvation. After one horrifying experience of purchasing then reading the label, I now scan for weird words on the box (like shellac - no lie).

Fiber One Oats & Caramel Chewy Bar

I try to avoid eating anything I can't pronounce or identify. Since I really like these, I did some research.

Chicory Root Extract - this is the fiber! It's high in inulin, a sugar/fat substitute. Eating a lot can give you gas, but it's a small bar.

Rolled Oats - another source of fiber (which reduces cholesterol in the blood). Yes!

Caramel Flavored Drops - when an ingredient has its own "posse" of ingredients, things can get ugly.

Sugar - um, carbs are essential, right? Excess can cause diabetes, but it's a small bar.
Fractionated Palm Kernel and Palm Oil - Like, the same oil in napalm? Yes, but it's safe in foods and soaps. Fattier than canola, but still high in Vitamin E.
Reduced Minerals Whey - basically, they've removed most of the salt through electrodialysis making it tastier for foods like soft-serve ice cream.
Nonfat Milk - I drink this. Without fat, it's higher in nutrients. Kids need fat for brain development. Not so much for adults.
Dextrose - Simply put, D-Glucose is "brain food." Remember bio? This is the magic stuff we turn into energy.
Salt - I guess they need to put in salt since they took it out of the whey.
Soy Lecithin - Non-toxic. Keeps the bar from separating, like a food lube. Haha.
Natural and Artificial Flavor - What? Ok.
Yellow 5 Lake - Ah, the coloring in Doritos and Mountain Dew. Can cause hives and hyperactivity? Surely not.
Yellow 6 Lake - May contain a carcinogenic impurity. Also in Dayquil and Tylenol. Delightful. There's been talk of a total recall (not the movie). Norway and Finland were the first to do so.
Blue 2 Lake - It makes blue jeans blue and Fiber bars... well, I'm not quite sure.

Crisp Rice

Rice Flour - Your best friend if you're gluten-intolerant. Here, it's just flour.
Sugar - Again?
Malt Extract - High in sugar and vitamins. Yes!
Salt - Again?

Barley Flakes - Barley contains all eight essential amino acids. Yes!
High Maltose Corn Syrup - It's slightly less processed than HFCS. Yes! Wait, that just means they usually add more. Nooooo!
Honey - Processed by nature. Delicious.
Sugar - Jesus, isn't this the third instance of sugar in this bar? It only weighs 1.4oz!

Vegetable Oil (all ok: Canola, Fractioned Palm Kernel, Peanut, Soybean)

Maltodextrin - makes clothes and food crisp!
High Fructose Corn Syrup - No need to go on. The media has ruined us on sugar.
Glycerin - Keeps food from drying out.
Tricalcium Phosphate - Bone ash? It's an anti-caking agent and it's also used in porcelain. Yummy.
Soy Lecithin - Again?
Salt, Natural and Artificial Flavor - Um, ok.

Color

Yellow 6 and 5 Lake - We did this already.
Blue 2 Lake- Ditto.
Other Color Added - Ooh, how mysterious!

Reduced Minerals Whey - Previously listed.
Baking Soda - Mostly helpful, as in putting out small fires (the "BC" in BC fire extinguishers) and neutralizing acids and bases.
Nonfat Milk - Previously listed.
Sunflower Meal - Good source protein, especially for feeder cows!
Wheat Flour - Great for papier-mâché and for eating! Seriously, it's fine.
Almond Flour - A low-carb dieter's friend. Also, it's in Louisiana king cake (not for low-carb dieters).

Mixed Tocopherols and BHA Added to Retain Freshness.
They're generally okay. I stopped researching tocopherol since most of the articles were about rats getting pregnant. WTF. Apparently BHT keeps food from becoming rancid. Good, right?

Happy snacking!

PS I dare you to do this on your blog. Just pick out a random snack. Trust me, that boring banana will sound a heck of a lot tastier than anything with bone ash as an ingredient.

karate is back

2009-09-21T08:58:00.000-07:00

When Lyoto Machida defeated Rashad Evans at UFC 98, he exclaimed "Karate is back!"

For some, it never left. It was always there at 5am for the Machida family, who learned the art from Yoshizo, Lyoto's dad/instructor. The unorthodox techniques used by Lyoto have proven successful in a sport dominated by BJJ, muay thai, and wrestling. He's really defensive, which he attributes to "Machida Karate."

What is Machida karate?

Lyoto Machida is partly of Japanese descent. His father Yoshizo, a shotokan karate master, is roughly 5 1/2 feet tall. Yoshizo moved from Japan to Brazil as a third dan in karate. Challenged by a new set of taller opponents, he designed a style of striking which enabled him not only to keep up, but also to win. If you're a practitioner, you already understand the importance of multi-directional movement in self-defense. The foundation of Machida karate is foot movement, highlighted in Lyoto's 4-DVD set (note: they're totally worth $120: link, current rating: 5/5).

"Your first opponent is yourself." --Yoshizo Machida

You don't have to get up at 5am, but it certainly helped Machida defeat every opponent he's faced to date in a professional setting. There are countless excuses to avoid training, and there are certainly alternatives to the Machida karate-is-life mindset. However, if you want to defeat the best mixed martial artists in the world, wake up to train before your opponent is up (or the sun, for that matter).

"Karate is back!" --Lyoto Machida

It's my boyfriend's new favorite phrase. I googled high and low to buy him a shirt like the one Machida wore in his Lugz ad:

After a month of searching, I was empty-handed.

I created a Zazzle shirt (and saved $3 since all shirts were on sale in honor of "Talk like a pirate day"). It looked a little sad with just three words on it, so I added Machida's kicking dude.

$12.95 & up: Karate is back!

My boyfriend cannot wait to wear this shirt!

tuf 10 episode 1

2009-09-18T22:24:00.000-07:00

My Wednesdays have a purpose again!

Season 10 of "The Ultimate Fighter" kicked off this week: it's a bloody, pukey hit. I think although Quinton "Rampage" Jackson can't stop talking about how awesome he is, this go-round is considerably more tolerable than the Browning-brothers-infused seasons. At least Rampage has the good sense to avoid smashing glass in fighters' faces (Junie) and urinating in the shower (Rob), opting for the more sensible rage-a-holic option of ripping apart a door with his bare hands.

I enjoy watching skilled fighters with heart compete. Say what you want, but Kimbo Slice seems coachable and willing to improve his ground game. I almost hope that Kimbo loses to a wrestler. Short-term, it would embarrass Rampage for his over-the-top bragging. Kimbo Slice will be a UFC star, win or lose on TUF, if he can hone his ground skills and rise above his backyard brawler image.

There's one guy who's sure to rival Jesse "icing on the ice cream" Taylor in terms of mental prowess. I'd say his name, but I was too busy laughing to pay attention to his commentary. Just kidding! Wes Sims is the official TUF Ten Tool: I decided. Here's a gem from a recent interview with MMAjunkie.com Radio:

"I've got a real short memory, and we did film this this past summer," Sims said. "So, I'm going to be as surprised as the fans are when they watch it. I have no idea who fought, who won. ... I don't remember anything."

Thank you, Wes, for the inside scoop.

My hopes for this season:
1. No more fights with some d-bag refusing to touch gloves and shooting (low class!).
2. Heavyweights will hold (most of) their liquor.
3. Roy Nelson finally has the baby. Talk about a heavy weight!

http://mma.fanhouse.com

fall 1997 highlight

2009-09-14T19:10:00.001-07:00

Writing those two blogs about the lowlights of my junior year got me thinking about one of the highlights: I never cheered so much for Carmi to win a football game as I did for them to beat Salem in the fall of 1997. I'd already been to one Salem loss (Centralia), so I felt doubly lucky at the shot to attend a second defeat. If you're from Salem, I'm sorry. Kinda.

Hey Salem people, at least you're not from Florida. The only football game I regret attending was LSU's loss to Florida on October 11, 2003 in Tiger Stadium. I wouldn't walk across the street to pee on Florida fans if their smart mouths caught on fire. They were really sore winners. Almost as bad as Kentucky fans.

night and day 2 of 2

2009-09-14T19:09:00.000-07:00

(cont'd from part 1)

If you haven't read part 1, you're only getting 1/2 the story.

I paid a high price for my dedication.
The price was a whole lot of awkwardness.

I attended both Centralia and Carmi 10-year reunions last Saturday.

Running late from the Evansville taekwondo tournament, I stopped on Epworth Road to change clothes on my way to the Carmi Country Club. I arrived and said "hi" to the 9-10 people I passed on the way to the bathroom. I received two acknowledgments of my existence. Yeah, two guys from my class talked to me while my boyfriend was in the bathroom. Then, I peed and left about 20-30 minutes after I arrived. I wasn't surprised that I barely received any eye contact (that's how it was in high school, too). I don't blame them, though.

I was a stranger to them. I made sure of it.

I was wrong for isolating myself, but as a teen, I lacked healthy coping mechanisms to deal with my incredibly dysfunctional family abandoning me. I was afraid I wouldn't meet my goals if I went back to being my old social self. I let my guard down in junior college and managed to have a great time socially while graduating with honors. I don't regret my decisions in high school, but they certainly had a negative impact on my Carmi reunion experience.

I had a great time at the Centralia reunion, though.

I wasn't through the door before I got a warm welcome from former classmates. Not long after arriving, an old friend nearly tackled me, armed with somebody's yearbooks, and filled me in page-by-page on 10+ years of drama, deaths, hookups, divorces, and happy news.

I stayed sober at the reunion (too many cameras, including a video cam). I left my boyfriend with a friend of mine while I circulated. When I came back, he asked me "So *how* wild were you?" That was pretty much the end of my circulating.

I didn't help plan either event, but I'd guess the budget was smaller at Carmi's reunion (Centralia graduated 300, and Saturday's tickets were $25/person). It was in an event hall, "dress up," catered... Unfortunately, drunken white boy dancing began early into the night to 90s hits (think "Baby Got Back" and "Tootsie Roll").

I was afraid to circulate. I didn't know questions how I'd react to questions they might ask since they hadn't seen me in years.

I have 5-10 years until I decide whether or not to attend another reunion.

I wonder how much my life and my perspective will change in that time.

night and day 1 of 2

2009-09-14T19:08:00.000-07:00

Why did I attend two high school reunions last Saturday?

I attended one high school for a little over two years.
I attended a second high school for nearly two years.

My grandmother had a stroke about the same time that my father's wife became one of the most unstable people I've ever met. My dad contemplated committing her. I sincerely hope her life now is 100% stable and positive. Seriously.

For most of the summer between my sophomore and junior years, I helped my grandfather take care of my grandmother 90 miles away. My father's wife (we'll call her Stepmother #1, since she's no longer my father's wife) got used to the peace and quiet of not having a 16-year-old girl in the house. Blended family + teen angst - counseling = what could go wrong?

On Wednesday, October 1, 1997, Stepmother #1 went Britney Spears crazy.

I was in the bathroom getting ready for school. She shoved me out (no small feat as she weighed 100lbs). She threw whatever she could find at my face. This is the woman who wouldn't let me eat supper after working at my summer job. I almost always missed the family dinner because of work or band practice. My dad hid granola bars in my room because she forbade me to eat if I couldn't eat with them as a family (the same portions she gave her five-year-old son). Still, I thought all of that was over since I'd been helping out around the house and making good grades. Wrong.

My dad suspected her "good" and "bad" moods were bipolar episodes. The weekend before she snapped, she accompanied my Dad to Carbondale, watched my band compete, and picked me up. They took me out to eat, to the mall, and even bought me a few things. I felt lucky to have a family who supported me and actually came to my competition.

That Friday night, my dad sat me down. He said he was choosing his wife over me.
I'm not paraphrasing.

My sister, a freshman, was hysterical. She told my dad he'd regret it. (I don't think he did. He did the same thing to my sister her senior year. She graduated from Carmi, too). I left the room, grabbed clothes, and got ready for the football game at my best friend's house. I only saw my stepmother on a handful of occasions after that. Every one of them involved her being rude, and not just to me. She sat in the middle of the floor and pouted at my Grandmother's wake, but I digress.

On my last night as a Centralia junior, I told only my band director and my best friend why I would not make Saturday's competition. I left in the morning.

I wasn't allowed to take anything except clothes. Mom dropped me off at her hovel (a 20-year-old single-wide dilapidated trailer in 1997) where she lives to this day. Apparently I'd be completely without adult supervision in my new home: that's how it was when I lived with her in Centralia, too.

During the first nine weeks at Centralia, I already had a great start on raising my horrible GPA. I got little "you're awesome" slips in the mail from a few teachers who were impressed with my first-quarter progress. In Carmi, all I needed was stability and distance from my old life. I tried not to talk to my old friends.

I wanted them to forget about me. I wasn't coming back.
The next week, I registered for classes at Carmi.

The first week, I asked questions like where the other buildings were (just one!) and what lunch period I had (again, just one!). Some of my classes from Centralia equated to "sophomore" and "senior" classes at Carmi. My Centralia band friends were a big part of my life (on and off the field). It became painful to practice with this new band that didn't compete or memorize their music. I only stayed with it because Carmi didn't offer French 2 that year, which meant I already had one study hall.

Nobody invited me to anything.
I didn't even know how to cope because I'd always had plans.

The second weekend after moving, my grandpa picked me up. Somehow he knew I needed more supervision than Mom offered and fewer rules than Dad required. Grandpa never gave me any rules except 1) not to smoke at his house (I'd already quit, so this wasn't difficult) and 2) try my hardest at school (which I wanted to do anyway).

He told me I didn't have to go back to my mom's house. I didn't.

For four months, little miss social butterfly didn't have a single friend except my grandparents.
Then, Grandma died. Until graduation, my only friend was Grandpa. I didn't even visit overnight at my mother's or my father's houses. I stayed a few times with friends in Centralia, but that was it.

I learned a lot about myself.

- I don't have to spend hours doing my hair and makeup in the bathroom before school. Instead, I hurried so I could help my grandmother use the bathroom.

- Painting my nails was not as much fun as painting Grandma's.

- Breakfast in Centralia was mostly scrounging up whatever I could find, but my Grandpa insisted on making me breakfast... every. single. morning.

- A Friday evening out with my grandparents might have seemed lame when I lived in Centralia, but sometimes a fish sandwich and a pineapple malt in Carmi was the highlight of my week.

- It was harder for me to walk through graduation without my Grandmother there than it was for me not to walk through graduation in Centralia.

My last two years of high school were about goals. I achieved everything I ever wanted to finish. By getting serious in class and dropping down to half the extra-curricular activities, I raised my GPA by a full point and managed to finish in the top half of my class. I only had confidence to apply for one scholarship, but I managed to earn it! I really would thank Stepmom #1 if I had the chance; she did me a great favor and changed my life.

I paid the price for my dedication. (continued in part 2)

single life

2009-09-08T22:42:00.000-07:00

I'm used to friends and strangers telling me, "Oh, you'll change your mind about kids."

I threw up after eating spaghetti once as a kid. One day I decided to try it as an adult and didn't get the urge to vomit. I changed my mind about spaghetti. Changing your mind about having kids is not like changing your mind about liking spaghetti. Not one day of my life have I ever wanted to have a kid. I'll probably always get the urge to vomit. Sorry.

About marriage: I doubt I'll ever get married, but the first thing that has to happen is the legal right to get married extended to every adult who wants to marry another adult. I joke about getting married on November 31st or other nonsense occasion, but it's just not going to happen unless a law passes. Sorry.

I'm used to my friends talking to me like they have Tourette's Syndrome after they pop out a kid or two, "Oh, that reminds me... PUT THAT DOWN! -crash- Oh shoot, I gotta go. Click." I do feel better talking to other non-breeders when they agree that some babies are just plain ugly. Sorry.

I can relate to a recent blog by a single woman, even though I don't want to get married or have kids.

Post from: Yahoo! Shine

Dear friends (you know who you are),

I write this as I realize that I am the last of my friends to be single without children. It's a sobering moment. I have always known it, but when I sit there and really think about it...it's kinda like "whoa!" It's kinda crazy, because I know most of my friends thought that I would be the first to have a kid. Yet, here I am on the brink of 30, single and without kids. Which suits me just right.

So to my family-fied friends, please don't take this the wrong way. I love the fact that you have kids that have personalities that rivaled yours when you were their age. I love that you found love. And mostly I love you, because you are thoughtful, wonderful, and have known and been there through all my ups and downs. But please note the following:

Click here to read the rest of the post.

the Kmart incident

2009-09-03T12:30:00.000-07:00

Have you seen this story?
Stranger allegedly slaps crying child in store
http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/09/02/georgia.tot.slapped/index.html

This news story reminds me of something that almost happened to me as a child, and I guarantee it's not what you think it is.

As a child, my family drove 90 miles to my dad's hometown every weekend. Once at the local Kmart (now closed), I was being a heathen. I put my hands over everything in the checkout aisle. I was about three. My father was much less patient with children than he is now.

"Cindy, I'm going to spank you on the butt if you can't behave."
"Cindy, I'm going to spank you."
"Cindy!"

WHACK!

Only it wasn't me. I'd walked away to touch other things. It was another little girl wearing a similar coat. Mouth open, my dad turned to the mom, frantically going through the future in fast-forward (I'm going to lose my prison guard job. I beat another person's kid and am going to jail. Oh my God.)

The mom beat him to the punch (pun intended).
"She really needed that. I've been telling her the same thing!"

Whew.

Somewhere, a 28ish-year-old woman read today's headline and said, "That happened to me in Carmi Kmart!"

End note: I'm still a touchy person, but now I get paid to do it. I'm a massage therapist.

Hurricane Katrina

2009-08-28T20:31:00.001-07:00

Four years ago, I was in Baton Rouge, Louisiana when Hurricane Katrina hit.
It changed my life.

I am here today (for better, for worse, for whatever) as a result of that day.

Constructive Criticism (1R to 1D)

2009-08-25T14:26:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday, I tested for my advanced red belt. It's been nearly exactly two years since I tested for my orange belt (the white belt comes with the uniform). As a lower rank, I didn't really get a lot of constructive criticism. As a high rank, more is expected of me as far as technique and power are concerned.

Two critical remarks from Saturday:

1. I need to be less "relaxed." More power! Really, all I did was tell myself not to stress out, so I came off as "relaxed." However, it can come off as not caring or not taking it seriously, so I'll better express my emotions next time.

2. My block/strike set-ups could use improving. It was just about one specific technique, but I'll be paying attention to all of them in the future.

I've been practicing for months to meet my new requirements.

As usual, advanced ranks like me demonstrate:
- rank-appropriate form (red)
- forms I learned previously (lower-rank requirements)
- sparring (adding new techniques to my repertoire)
- board breaking (two new techniques + two boards more difficult than last time)
- self defense (several "rehearsed" defenses as well as spontaneous attacks)

I wasn't sure if I'd be ready. Before the test, I continued to experience pain from a recent injury. Plus, my toe instantly turned purple during a last-minute injury today.

I decided to test anyway.

I had trouble focusing during the forms portion, and not just because my toe throbbed the entire time. Once the taekwondo phone rang. Another time, I came close to kicking a child in my path. I asked to do one form again because the time I suddenly thought of all the "what-if" scenarios.

My head was clear for self-defense and sparring. I did very well!

Also, the final portion: BOARD BREAKING! I broke both boards on the first attempt!

Then, my foot turned blue. Someone landed on it. The same side that my purple toe. Awesome.

Oh well. I passed!

I'm very proud of this achievement. The next time I am eligible to test, I'll be testing for a black belt rank (recommended). In the next few months, I'll practice the "weed-out" technique: a run-and-jump (flying) side kick. Most people quit. I won't.

rebreakable boards

2009-08-01T00:41:00.000-07:00

In taekwondo, we use re-breakable boards. They're as difficult to break as wooden boards, but they save trees! In fact, the boards I break are a bit tougher.

Why?
1. No "duds," or fluke easy boards: these are molded plastic.
2. They won't break "just anywhere." They'll only break at one seam, unlike any grain in a wooden board.
3. They come in varying strengths. Breakdown of thickness equivalents:

Little kids: White (.25" wooden board) /Yellow (.5" wooden board)
Bigger kids: Orange (.75" wooden board) / Green (1" wooden board)
Blue (1.25" wooden board) <---- my former board
Brown (1.75" wooden board) <---- my current board
Black (2.25" wooden board)

I haven't been able to break on the first try like I did with the blue boards. It's 99% mental, 1% not pivoting all the way. It's not much more difficult to break the new board. Still, I will have to practice during every class to get comfortable enough to test in a month. I'm making progress!

YouTube Link: Board Breaking (skip to 2:04)
Context: This woman is breaking with brown boards at her taekwondo test. I'll be breaking with a round kick (2:23). I've broken with a side kick (2:14) and front kick (2:07). At my next test, I must also break a brown board with a palm heel strike.

uniform shopping: the time has come!

2009-07-30T23:52:00.000-07:00

I think it's time to buy a good uniform.

There's nothing wrong with my current uniform, with the exception of the heat transfer on the back being faded. It fits well, and it's gotten me through a few years of training, a few belt promotions, and a few tournaments.

Oh, and the pants are long. Some smaller pants fit my waist, but I had to bump up two sizes to accommodate my Portuguese butt. The sleeves are long, too. I have big boobs, so the jacket had to be big. Basically I'm too fat for taekwondo. hahahaha

I'm at the start of the uniform search. I don't know what size or brand to start with! I do know that many uniforms are designed for fit Asian men. I am neither fit nor Asian... and I'm certainly not male. There are some "women" uniforms, but they're outrageous, and I'm not convinced they're worth the investment.

I wasn't sure I'd stick with taekwondo long enough to need an upgrade. My last blog (link) was about how Miss "Two-hours-of-hair-and-makeup" turned into Ms. "Ponytail-and-yoga-pants."

I'm not sure I've convinced everyone that I've come down a notch in the maintenance department, but I really had nowhere to go but down. My boyfriend confessed the martial arts supply store was out of pink belts; he knows this because he tried to order me one!

But yes, since I'm indeed serious about my training (Who knew?), I'll be ordering a heavyweight uniform soon. It's part of my decision to be "less cupcake, more karate."

less cupcake, more karate

2009-07-28T22:48:00.001-07:00

I'm so girly it's not even funny.

It's such a shock to everyone that I've come this far in taekwondo. I've broken nails, lost a small chunk of my knuckle, sprained both ankles, nearly dislocated my jaw, got eye-gouged, and lots of other un-girly things. And I've only earned a red belt.

I've scrubbed my feet like hell to avoid nasty calloused heels and dry skin as a result of being barefoot all the time. I've ruined pedicures and have taken to doing everything at home (cheaper and better, since I'm a penny-pinching, control-freak, germophobe anyway).

I've considered switching deodorants from Dove "Visibly Smooth" to something "extra strength" (shudder) on workout days, but I can't bring myself to do it. Too butch. haha

Come on, how un-feminine can deodorant get? No pink? I'll pass!

Now, I put on my sportsbras (yes, two. minimum.) and dobok and kick ass. This is the same girl who took two hours every morning to go through hair, makeup, and wardrobe in high school. I assure you, noone is more confused than I am about this semi-recent turn of events.

I joined taekwondo because it's a social activity. Er, it's an activity with people. To me, that's an opportunity for social interaction. It's very much an individual journey, but I didn't realize it at the time. I just saw a classroom of people and thought, "A bunch of nice people? Ooh, count me in!"

I used to put my hair in twin french braids and touch up my toenail polish before class. Now I throw my super-long hair into a humongous ponytail and hope my leg stubble doesn't rub against anyone too badly when I'm getting out of their guard. I've compromised with wearing pink bag gloves that help my hands from getting torn up by the Wavemaster while I'm beating it up. My mouthpiece case is a violent shade of hot pink... but it's so worn out that you can barely see the glitter. I need a new one.

You might say I care less about my looks, but I had nowhere to go but down. It's not like I'm terribly vain. I just like to look my best.

I even take off my makeup before class... most of the time.

PS If you think everything I own is pink, you're dead wrong and have severely underestimated my obsession with purple and gold. Geaux Tigers!

Blackberry Tour 9630 review from a non-geek

2009-07-19T21:30:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday, I drove to White County to pick up my new phone. It retails for roughly $275 from the Verizon website. Obviously, I am Portuguese enough to never pay that much for something that doesn't wash my clothes or my dishes.

I caught a weekend deal, a re-up rebate, and used my (ex) stepdad's hefty primary user "New Every Two" incentive to grab my new toy for just $99. Yes, I'm still on his plan. It's much cheaper than a solo contract.

I'm not a geek. I'm up on the latest technology, but only because I read over my boyfriend's shoulder. He explains it to me to get the confused look off my face.

The four things I love about having this phone:
1. camera: while it pales in comparison to my digital camera, geotagging and integration with Twitter, Facebook, and MySpace means I can share easily with family and friends
2. email: it pushes all my accounts to my phone, and I have the option to delete just on the handheld or on the account
3. messaging: it holds all my texts, IMs, and notifications all in one handy box, even the notes from other sites like Facebook
4. applications: I'm able to add apps not from the Verizon store. Unlike dumb phones, a smart phone can get apps from outside sites like Crackberry.com which means free tip calculators, Twitter clients, and ringtones.

Four things I hate about having this phone:
1. data plan: Verizon sucks the money and life right out of me by charging twice what I used to pay for data on my dumb phone.
2. battery life: it's not a step down, but I still have to charge it every day or so. Apps suck the life right out of it, especially when I'm making calls, too.
3. internet: sometimes it takes forever to web pages to load, even when nothing else is open. I receive images in my email, and it's a pain to wait for them to show up. I'll be switching to text-only emails for most newsletters soon.
4. addictive: I can't stay off my phone. Not that I stayed off it much when I had that piece of junky plastic (the hinge on my old LG just snapped off one day, as did my (ex) stepdad's and our phones were conveniently out of warranty).

You may ask, "Why didn't you get a Pre or iPhone?"

1a. The short answer: I wanted a Pre.
1b. The long answer: A few years ago, my family had a "no roam" plan Sprint offered. Every month, they'd cut off my family for racking up outrageous roaming charges. It was an error in their system that they acknowledged, and we'd always get it credited. One month when I called to get the charges cleared, a rep cut off the connection (but did manage to put a note on the account saying we could terminate without a fee). I called back and let the next one know where we were. He said, "Well, your account has a lot of problems all the time. Maybe they didn't want to talk to you." When we switched to Verizon, we got another fat bill with exorbitant charges, with termination fees tacked on. No thanks.

2a. The short answer: I couldn't get one if I tried.
2b. The long answer: A few years ago (post-Sprint), AT&T gave customers in my service area one month to find a carrier. They unceremoniously chose not to honor any contracts in several surrounding counties. One day, they literally just pulled out. Additionally, if you roam a lot in this area, they'll still cut you off even if your home area is elsewhere. No thanks.

You might ask, "What issues I've read other smart phone users experience? Do these give you problems?"
1. small keys - Nope. I don't trouble because I don't fat fingers.
2. sore thumbs - Nope. Coming from someone whose hands are their craft (massage), I don't abuse my body to stay in touch with my friends.
3. poor camera resolution - Sorry, it's not meant to replace your camera. Carry two devices if you want really good pictures.
4. no wifi - Verizon has great coverage in my area. If I had AT&T or some other carrier who barely allows more than just 911 calls in my area, I'd have room to complain. Besides, it's not a netbook or laptop being sold without wifi. It's just a phone.

Also, today I learned that teens text at 70wpm and their parental counterparts are plugging along at 8wpm. Wow.

fruit people

2009-07-16T11:17:00.000-07:00

Aside from football, summer is my favorite season. No, not just because of baseball. It's because of something delicious, and I don't mean hot wings! Mmm, fruit.

Everything flourishes in the summer. It's hot, sure, but plants need that heat to grow... so I can eat them. I chow down on all the fresh produce I can afford. It's really good for you, and it sure beats the green strawberries that come from who-knows-where that I see in the dead of winter.

I recently discovered that my passion for fresh fruit makes me a "fruit person." I had no idea that the world is divided into those who do and those who do not live for the fresh watermelon, sweet corn, blueberries, and garden tomatoes that are only delicious in plentiful quantities at this time of year.

I find myself eating healthily only part of the time. After all, this blog is called "Karate Cupcake," not "Karate Vegan." I load up on unbleached pasta once or twice a week. I have been known to eat a bowl of ice cream. Still, and I promise you this: I will choose fresh fruits and vegetables over junk food... every. single. time.

I don't like chocolate all that much. I don't do coffee. I can't tell you the last time I had a soda, but it's been years. But a month or two ago, someone asked me if I wanted anything from the store because she was making a quick trip. We were on our way to a wedding, and I said, sure! Get me an apple. "Green or red?" She asked. I said, "Surprise me."

The look on her face confirmed that were were on opposite sides of the fruit fence. I think she bought herself a KitKat. I enjoyed my apple. It was delicious.

There's no doubt from where my love of fresh produce originates. My mom kept a garden when I was a kid. So did my Grandpa. Squash, grapes, potatoes, strawberries, mmm. Grandpa's orchard kept us stocked with cherries, pears, and apples. The neighbors always made sure we had corn and beans. If you've never had a Posey County or John Brown melon, you just haven't lived.

I remember reading a story in elementary school about a child from Alaska who bought an orange when the vendors came around on a ferry. Was it just once a year? I remember feeling so lucky I lived in a place with seasons. The child in the story bought the orange, peeled it, and took the first bite. The juicy sliver of citrus tasted "like sunshine."

I had pineapple for breakfast and a bowl of cherries for lunch. I suppose there is a support group for people who can't live without green beans that aren't from a can, but I'm not ready for an intervention.

six weeks retail

2009-07-11T15:58:00.000-07:00

Note: just after posting this, I learned that I was not fired. It was a complete scheduling misunderstanding. I'm leaving it up to show how dramatic I can be after a week of being cooped up in the house... sick and without outside contact.

I'm not on the schedule next week at my second job.

I did not show up on Thursday. For whatever reason, I read the schedule incorrectly as 12-3, not 10-3. They called not long after I was supposed to show, but I've been taking Benadryl for my allergies and slept right through it. Yes, the phone was right by my ear.

When I woke at 11, I returned the missed call. I apologized, and the assistant manager told me someone had covered and I didn't need to come in. She was not happy.

I left a voicemail and text on the store manager's cell on Thursday.
I left another voicemail today.

I've never had this happen, so I didn't know how these things worked.
I thought the course of action would me less... passive.

I asked a friend (who works in retail/management) who said these things happen more than you'd think, and that it's probably not a big deal. It's a big deal to me. I didn't show up for my shift because I got the time wrong!

Has this ever happened to you?
I have never worked in retail before this.
I may never again. lol

In other news, I'm going out tonight to watch UFC 100!
I also got a washer and dryer today. I'm moving up in the world!

Senate Bill 318

2009-06-18T23:15:00.000-07:00

Have you ever contacted your legislators?
It took me 25 days to receive a response from my State Representative. Even for that, I had to contact my State Senator (which took 1 day).

Having worked in the offices of two U.S. Senators before starting my business, I can tell you that things can get crazy. With that said, this my only experience in contacting Rep. Reis' office:

My inquiry was related to legislation related to massage, and my question was "How does Rep. Reis feel about SB 318?"

I'd passed on my concerns that 30-50* other massage therapists employed in the district might be impacted as well as the general public. I work on Main Street (a few doors from his Olney office) and submitted my email, number, and address. After 24 days without a response, I emailed Sen. Jones. His office called me the next day to tell me Sen. Jones had called Rep. Reis, who would be contacting me soon.

I'll paraphrase: Rep. Reis said he'd been receiving hundreds of emails daily and his aunt (a MT) said the legislation was okay by her, so he didn't contact me and then voted in favor of it. I will not criticize except to say that I'm sure Sen. Jones receives at least the same number of messages and took 23 fewer days to craft a response. Rep. Reis did not indicate that he contacted any of the other 30-50 massage therapists (in district or elsewhere). To his credit, Rep. Reis apologized.

*I searched the database of Nationally Certified massage therapists. Thirty-five MTs live in the district, and an additional 15 live in "border" areas which may or may not be in the district. I want readers to know I didn't invent a number. (source: http://www.ncbtmb.org/consumers_find_practitioner.php)

I'm serious now

2009-06-15T21:22:00.001-07:00

I decided to get serious about blogging! (1x/wk) and bought a domain (karatecupcake.com)

Most of the time I'll be chronicling my martial arts instructor's sadistic obsession to test my mettle via pad drills / line drills (boo). Honestly, nobody makes me train four times a week. I just do it. However, it would sure be easier if I didn't eat junk food. To quote one taekwondo instructor (not mine) who shies away from veggies, "I'd eat them if they tasted like bacon!"

I like to have my (cup)cake and eat it too.

I'm not one to make sacrifices at all!

My family remains astounded that I took up taekwondo a few years ago and cannot believe I added a cardio kickboxing and MMA class to the mix. I am so... girly. Truthfully, I started training for the social component. I moved to a new town knowing only my boyfriend. Obviously, I am not one to sit at home, so I loitered around his martial arts school and helped him out while my business took off.

After a year, I jumped in class. I really sucked! (he says I didn't, but he lies)

I figured this was my "out" since a lot of martial artists' girlfriends take it for a while and drop out, opting for the easy route (looking pretty and going to tournaments, which I have to say is fun at times). People at his school were bugging me (nicely, of course); even a few eight year old little girls wheedled me on occasion.

The plan was to study for a few months, a year max, and slowly fade my attendance. I was prepared to say "I'm just really busy right now, but maybe later." But there was another young woman my age starting taekwondo, so I stuck it out because I'm a social person! Having someone to go over the material with kept me focused on the goals. Even after she decided not to continue training at the dojahng, I did. I was promoted... and promoted... and promoted! Eventually I caught up with someone else, and it's nice to have someone who is my exact rank again. We help each other overcome weaknesses and are a source of support when things just aren't coming along so easy.

As I type this, there are just a few days between now and Thursday, when I'll receive my first red belt. This is huge, as there are no more colored belt forms to learn after this; additionally, there are just a handful of new techniques to learn. In summary, my time at this rank will primarily be spent improving upon what I've already learned. Colored belt ranks are typically student ranks, and black belt ranks are typically instructor ranks. It makes perfect sense that as a red belt, I'll be doing a lot of reviewing, as the test for black belt is a sort of graduation (except you don't just walk up to get your belt!).

When I get to black belt, it will be over a year from now and I will get pretty frustrated. Board breaking is scary, and the technique I'm most scared of is the run and jump side kick (RJSK).

RJSK is what deterred me for signing up during the first year of my relationship with my boyfriend. Now that I'll be practicing RJSK regularly, I have a certain amount of anxiety. Fortunately, overcoming the other obstacles along the way (sparring, competition, spinning and jumping!) have prepared me for what's ahead.

I hope you'll read along to see how awesome I am (at falling! lol).

RED belt test results (old rank: 2D, new rank: 1R)

2009-06-13T17:00:00.000-07:00

Apologies... I totally thought I blogged about my decided brown belt test. Um, sorry? It was a "blink-and-you'll-miss-it" test. Obviously, I passed. lol

Today I woke up tired.
Have you ever done that?

Saturday morning's MMA class was a good warm-up for the test. I worked off most of the usual jitters by working on grappling takedowns/transitions and rolling live. It got the blood pumping!

I feel like the ugly girl at the dance sometimes in MMA class. I don't receive eye contact back from the guys (the class is all guys) and the instructor always has to ask the guys to work with me if he can't work with me himself.

I've been told I do all right and it's not me who has the problem! I don't think they know what to think about a girl who kicks as hard as I do. lol

I was sweaty! No time for shower... just grab a bite and put on my dobok (uniform).

During the taekwondo tests, students line up and test by rank. Being an advanced rank, I'm among the last handful of students to demonstrate the rank-appropriate form. This was also the first test that I was required to demonstrate previous forms in addition to the current form. Although I only had to show one old form selected by the instructor (orange), I had to know four: white, orange, yellow and camouflage.

Then, I demonstrated my self defense techniques against a "big dude." This time I had to get out of a rear naked choke, mount (use an upa - if you know what that is!), and catch a kick and take my opponent down.

Then came sparring. I sparred three matches (two guys, one girl). I did something really funky to the knee I was going to break boards with. It hurt really, really badly, but I got through sparring all right.

Then came boards. I was really nervous! I get nervous about boards because I'm always thinking about what might happen if I miss and hurt someone (or me!). I can kick the 270-pound heavy bag over, but boards scare me for some reason!

So I broke - convincingly - with the other leg. All told, I did very well and my promotion is next Thursday. Usually my school serves doughnuts for students after the test. This time we had cupcakes, too! That's because my birthday was last week. I was recognized for the work I do at the school and for being one year older!

In short... I PASSED!

UFC 97 goodbye CHUCK!?! :(

2009-04-18T23:12:00.000-07:00

Sherdog quote: "Mauricio “Shogun” Rua looked like his old self. Chuck Liddell just looked old." (link here)

Well, here are my thoughts. *sigh*

Chuck has one more fight in him, right? Right?

The Iceman definitely looked disappointed, but not really mad. He looked like he was in (relatively) good shape but that "old man" chin of his just isn't what it once was. Win or lose, he still boozes. I love that man! If he wants to go out on top, I say ignore the UFC's push to retire and train for the big W. You can do it! (update: he's done, but White promises a spot @ UFC)

Silva wasn't too disappointing, but it should have been more physical and less shuffle-y. Leites is a formidable opponent, but with all that flopping on the ground, you'd think the Spider would get good and mad and KO. :(

I guess it was a snooze fest because we're so used to seeing Silva's opponents fighting well below his skill level. He couldn't pick apart Leites as easily as some of the earlier fighters. Seeing Silva's jump round kick made me smile, though!

Future opponents won't be so scared to shoot on Silva, but they'd better be fast with the takedown. Leites lost his chance early on by not submitting him when he had the chance. Oh well.

I was fortunate to catch a glimpse of the action. Papa Mike's is now charging a cover (the first time was tonight). They ordered it nearly an hour late, and they turned it off before we heard the Spider talk about breaking the UFC record for consecutive wins. I wished the staff at Papa Mike's had their act together. I doubt the fans will tolerate a repeat of tonight!

I only caught part of I also say "oui oui" to Cheick Kongo, who is just plain more well rounded than Hardonk. Then again, it's hard to defend against a big dude pummeling you with hammer fists. haha

2009 Madeira Beach buys

2009-03-25T13:17:00.000-07:00

I have a tan!
Where did I get it?

Madeira Beach, Florida (more info/pics)

The 2-bed 2-bath condo at Sea Breeze was right on the beach! It was perfect, and I don't have a bad thing to say about it. It's packed with retirees and lightly sprinkled with spring breakers during peak season. It was quiet, pleasant, and centrally located (minutes from everything!). My vacation was a relaxing seven days of fun and sun. I collected shells and took advantage of souvenir and other retail sales.

Fab finds
Zip hoodies $15 each, a $3 faux leather purse (animal friendly!), and a $4.50 Hello Kitty trash can. Splurges: several heavenly vegan soaps from Lush Cosmetics ($10 each), and a set of goat's milk handmade soaps for under $20. I even bought some orange pants a shade brighter than the shade used in Hooters! I kept seeing the retirees tooling around in cornea-searing colors and decided to do as Grandpa said, "When in Rome, eat spaghetti."

Places to eat?
I searched for non-tourist traps and found Dockside Dave's, which is popular with the locals, too. They were voted "Best Grouper" by Southern Living magazine! DeLosa's pizza was a treat! They deliver, but you can drop by for $2 a slice. My all-time favorite place to grab a bagel: Dunkin' Donuts! I hear they're coming to my area, but I've heard that before. There are plenty of DD in the Tampa area, so I was pleased as punch to order a toasted bagel with everything and light cream cheese on multiple occasions. The original Hooter's in Clearwater is worth the drive. I was fortunate enough to get a window seat to look at the gawking passersby.

I didn't write any individual service and food reviews. Why not? I can honestly say the service and food at each restaurant was excellent. We also checked out The Hut (cocounut shrimp lunch) and Bubba Gump (shrimp sampler and delta sunrise for dinner) at John's Pass. Don't wait too late for Bubba. The wait at 5 was an hour and a half, so bring your charge card and grab a punchy "Madeira Beach" printed bag at the shop across from Sculley's. They come in "beach tote" large and "grocery sack" extra-large!

Dockside Dave's (hint: save room for dessert - homemade key lime pie!)

Delosa's Pizza (everything was great)

Hooter's Clearwater (get a shirt!!!)

Don't miss the dollar stores!
If you go to John's Pass, boardwalk, don't miss the $0.99 store upstairs. Their postcards are the cheapest around, at half the price (5 for $1.00). There are some high-end art shops nearby that sell $300 wooden turtles, but you can pick up the $3 variety at the (nearby) Treasure Island dollar stores!

Steal of the week
$1 fleece throws at CVS. I'm always looking to save money when it comes to business expenses, but I refuse to sacrifice quality. It was a true treat to take advantage of Florida's warm weather by buying their winter stuff!

Other stores and activities
I steered clear of discount chain stores and focused on supporting small businesses in my concerted effort to boost the economy. Tiny stores that cater to tourists? Count me in! I scored some clean, polished shells, souvenir tees for the kids, and the obligatory license plate key chain for my sis (by request). If you're not into buying junk, you'll be glad to know that Madeira Beach is clean and combed daily, staying free of debris and broken glass. You can pick up amazing shells, sponges, and the occasional sand dollar on your early morning or afternoon walk in the sand... sans shoes!

Family fun part 1
I received a massage at the Cortiva Institute in Pinellas Park. For $30, I was able to help out a student who needed to satisfy the required hands-on requirement. If you go: call several days in advance and do not bring tip money. It's illegal to tip the students, so give excellent feedback on their post-massage form! I brought my boyfriend's sister and his mother to Cortiva, where they also received student massages. Afterwards, my boyfriend's mom said it was nice, but "She's not Cindy." They're clients of mine, and I took that as a compliment!

Family fun part 2
Yes, I visited my grandpa! Although it's not purchase-related, one of the highlights was visiting Anna Maria Island with my grandparents. My grandfather lives nearby, and I crossed the Sunshine Skyway bridge to leave Tampa Bay and go to the Bradenton area. The arts council in Anna Maria is very active, and the buildings are painted in "Fruit Loop" colors (my words). There is a restaurant in the gulf (you get there by walking across wooden planks and not tripping over the people fishing off the dock!). We passed on that, but we did visit the old jail. It's not in use; rather, it's a popular tourist spot. Formerly on the gulf, Anna Maria Oyster Bar is in Bradenton. We picked up the Monday special "All you can eat fish and chips." Delicious!

Anna Maria Island Jail (more pics)

Useful links if you're planning a trip to Madeira Beach or the Tampa Bay

City of Madeira Beach site
Chamber - Anna Maria
Treasure Island visitors bureau

Anna Maria Oyster Bar
Bubba Gump Shrimp
Cortiva Institute
Dockside Dave's
Delosa's Pizza
Dunkin' Donuts
Hello Kitty Store
The Hut - John's Pass
John's Pass - official guide
Lush Cosmetics
Original Hooter's (Clearwater)
Sea Breeze Condo rentals

surprise (taekwondo) party

2009-02-28T16:13:00.000-08:00

Today was Nathan's surprise 30th birthday party!

He was completely surprised. It's really hard for over 50 people to keep a secret for weeks at a time, but nobody spilled the beans.

I ordered martial arts party supplies (plates, cups, table cover, centerpiece, etc) well in advance, and I scheduled a massage client to come in at 1:00 so he wouldn't have anything planned at his taekwondo school.

Typically, Nathan helps me set up for each massage, but I sent him away early because I really didn't want to have to tear down everything right after he left! My client arrived at 1:00 (one of the taekwondo moms), and I immediately sent her to get however many balloons that $20 buys! I purchased white karate balloons in the "martial arts party kit," and she selected a colorful assortment to round out the bunch.

Meanwhile, cupcakes were quickly iced, and I burned a DVD of pictures that Nathan's mom had collected of him over the years. I set up a posterboard with a "party" themed border so guests could sign it with Sharpies.

I set up a tv for the slide show, and soon guests piled in the back of the school. Since my Asian-style room dividers section off the back part, it was impossible to tell from the street that a whole lot of people were hiding back there!

I let everyone know that I was going outside to call him and that the next time the front door opened, he'd be the one to open it!

Nearly everyone had arrived, so I called him to have him come back to the school (to help me clean up after the massage - haha). He said he was playing the Star Wars video game that his best friend got him last week for his birthday. I said, "hurry up!"

"Come in the front entrance," I said. Someone had placed several rusty razor blades right outside the main entrance, so I relayed that message to him. Sure, I'd already cleaned it up, but I needed him to use the main entrance since everyone was hiding near the side entrance. I told him we should look around the front door to see if any were left.

As he arrived, his perpetually tardy sister drove by. It seems although she was early (for once - haha), her stepdaughter was the one lagging behind. Nathan's sister lives about 40 minutes away, but she does come to Olney sometimes. He didn't think anything of it. (WHEW!) I hurried him into the school. He was trying to call his sister to see what she was doing in town, but I told him to come inside. He didn't connect it, thankfully, so it really didn't matter that she drove by as he was coming in the school.

I told him to go first, and he hesitated. I thought he found out, but he got the shock of his life when everyone, packed like sardines, yelled, "SURPRISE!!!" It was exactly how I envisioned it: he walked in, opened the dividers, and everyone he knew was behind them smiling and singing "Happy Birthday!"

His family, friends, and taekwondo students had gathered in the very back of the school. Do you know how hard it is to keep children quiet for 20 minutes? Do you know how hard it is to keep a secret for an entire month?

I'm so thankful everyone helped by keeping it a secret. I won't lie: there were too many close calls to count. I was sure it was going to be spoiled!

Everyone had a good time, and the food was really tasty. One friend made little black belt-wearing sugar cookies in the shape of people (like gingerbread cookies!). We had plenty of cupcakes and brownies and chips and snack mix and even dried mangoes. The kids absolutely loved the balloons, and every child brought one home.

I'm glad it's over, though.

All that's left is the cleanup. That will definitely be tomorrow. :)

PS Nathan got lots of cards and gifts. I'm so jealous! haha

vacation, graduation

2009-02-25T21:34:00.000-08:00

For a substantial part of February, I've been ill. I'm nearly better now!

I'm visiting the gulf side of Florida next month for a week. Actually, my boyfriend's family is going to Florida. I am tagging along. I'll be glad to trade this gloomy weather for fun and sun. I'm also looking forward to people watching and buying cheap souvenirs.

I'm taking one class at a time until I finish my degree (currently: abnormal psychology). Financial aid is not available for my online classes at LSU, so I must pay for and complete one class at a time.

Several times the requirements have changed (read: must complete additional coursework to graduate). I try to finish each course as quickly as possible, but I can only take on what I can afford.

I hope to finish by December 2009.

I'll be very glad that I can move on to bigger and better projects and finally close that chapter in my life.

SHOW [did you miss it?]

2009-01-21T23:32:00.000-08:00

Today at Olney Taekwondo Center (where I train), the preschool class was ending as I was getting ready for the kickboxing cardio class.

A little boy needed help. He was crying because his mother "forgot" about him (really, she works at a nearby restaurant and sometimes gets busy... making her a few minutes late). I know this boy, and I told him I'd take him to his mom.

I gave him some candy and told him not to cry. (the gourmet variety: the candy-coated chocolate mint balls I steal from the every time I eat at the Acropolis in Evansville, IN). Then, we stepped outside and I told him to be careful on the ice.

That's when I did the full splits on the sidewalk. Yep, on the main drag in Olney at 6:00pm. Everyone was watching. It was seven kinds of awesome, and I took a minute to get up because I was laughing so hard.

I gave the little boy extra candy for not laughing at me, and I told him to hold on to the outside of each building as we walked.

I walked back to the cardio class without incident. The class (who watched my slip and slide) asked if I was okay and if I was going to do class since I had just fallen down?

I said uh, "I can do the splits anyway. I just like to have a little notice before each performance. I'm pretty flexible for a fat girl!"

I received a number of compliments on my grace. Apparently it was a very natural "stretchy" and classy fall (according to spectators). My butt got a little wet, but I assure you I was the highest kicking girl at the cardio workout because I was so stretched out!

Seriously, Wednesday's workout was insane. I'm kinda glad I stretched!

reflection

2009-01-16T04:28:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I got dressed for taekwondo class and had a "moment."

As I looked in the mirror to straighten my (fairly) new brown belt, I realized I am so much more hardcore than I was a year ago. I enjoy doing something that makes me sweat! (No one is more surprised than I am.)

I spend hours inside the school because I work there. A year into it, I started studying taekwondo (why not? it's free!). I used to come up with tons of excuses... at first, it was "reasons not to join," and then it was "reasons not to attend class," and "reasons not to spar" or whatever.

I don't like to kick people in the head.
I don't like to take people to the ground.
I don't like to have a sweaty ponytail under my sparring gear.
I don't like to figure out ways for my boobs not to bounce so much in class (2 sports bras, minimum in what I can only describe as a systematic undergarment strategy!).

But I can do it. Eventually the excuses stopped!

Sure, I might get a butt (hip?) cramp during every sidekick-related stretch, but it's not killing me. If you don't use it, you lose it, right?

car accident

2008-12-24T23:05:00.000-08:00

It was December 25, 2003. I flipped a car (side over side over side) on Christmas night while driving to the movie theatre for a date. I never made it to the date.

It was cold, snowy, and hard for people to find me. I was 30 feet below the highway, and it was probably one of the scariest times in my life.

It was traumatic hearing people talk about it, and I disliked reliving the every time someone asked me if I was ok. I holed myself up in my bedroom for days afterwards and let my family handle all the "are you ok?" phone calls. Had the walls not been so thin, I would have escaped reliving the ordeal every time my family told the person at the other end exactly what happened. Eventually, I was able to drive again: first in daylight, then at night with someone else, and finally at night alone... but never on Christmas.

If you know anything about post-traumatic stress disorder, you may be familiar with the concept of anxiety and flashbacks related to events like this one. 364 days of the year, I don't think much about it.

Though I know there's nothing inherently dangerous about driving to the movie theatre on Christmas night, I can't help but get tense when someone suggests a holiday flick.

I tend to suggest every possible alternative (stay in, play games, etc) but apparently it's a tradition in the family of my significant other.

You're either a good friend or a voyeur who reads blogs to for a greater understanding of the human condition; either way, I wanted to share this with you. That's why it's a public blog (as opposed to my private video or voice blogs).

At any rate, I hope your holiday is filled with positive memories to cherish in the years to come. I'm going to try to be more open to the concept of driving on Christmas and maybe even go to the movies tonight. Maybe.

QUESTION for video gamers

2008-11-14T10:35:00.000-08:00

Q: What are Mario and Luigi's overalls made of?
(answer below)

A: Denim denim denim...
hahahahaha

RIP honeymoon period

2008-11-13T22:25:00.001-08:00

If you'd like to know more about the end of a relationship's "honeymoon" period in general, here is a link to check out.

However, if you'd like to know the event that ended it for my relationship with Mr. Perfect, read on.

- - -

My boyfriend, "Mr. Perfect," is funny, smart, and ambitious. He is not, however, perfect.

WHY NOT?
The night of the election, we discussed making a trip to Washington, DC to attend the inauguration/parade. He was excited, especially since I snagged a free place to stay, and Mr. Perfect even mentioned splitting the cost with his parents, who love a good trip.

Mr. Perfect now says we don't have extra money to go to DC. He has a point.

THE BACK STORY
If you're up to date on my school drama, you know that LSU changes its degree requirements slightly more frequently than I become eligible to graduate under said requirements. After my last evaluation (three credits left? now nine... and I have to re-apply... again), I decided to take a casual approach to my correspondence classes, getting them done "when I get around to it." Since I've been focused on education this year - not marketing my business - I haven't managed to reserve much income for extras, like a trip to Washington, DC. (A side note: business is really taking off now, and all I needed to do was spend a little bit of time/money on marketing to get a lot of results!)

BACK TO THE TRIP
The cost of gasoline is roughly $80 (I checked). Factoring in the lodging (free) and transportation (cheap), I felt like we could afford to travel. However, without asking his parents to join us and without considering driving instead of flying, his final answer is no.

Why am I upset?

100% CHANCE OF STORM
Two days later, Mr. Perfect announces that after weeks of shopping for a new phone (he's due for an upgrade), he is "sold" on the $199 Blackberry Storm and will be picking up his new handset the day it arrives in the store.

THE TRUTH

Mr. Perfect's timing in deciding "no" on the trip and "yes" on a Blackberry made me realize that I wouldn't think of doing anything like that. In fact, I did quite a bit of leg work to make the trip a possibility (at least in my mind). I'm sure our friends will read this and be surprised, thinking "I thought they had a really good relationship." Actually, we do. That's why I don't know how to tell him I'm upset without sounding selfish. I would rather pretend I am not upset because aside from a short list of things that legitimately bother me, he is Mr. Perfect.

Massage Open House

2008-10-29T00:11:00.000-07:00

You're Invited!

WHO: You!
WHAT: Holiday Massage Open House
WHEN: Saturday, November 8
WHERE: Olney Taekwondo Center
TIME: 11am-2pm

I hope you can make it.

SPECIAL GIVEAWAY
* a spa gift basket *

~~Three~~ Four reasons to go:

1. stuff - FREE guide to "Getting the Most Out of Your Massage"
2. food - delicious goodies (and I mean delicious)
3. massage - chair massage!
4. I would absolutely love to meet you.

There will gift certificates for sale and pre-sale on Saturday. If you can't make it but still want a gift certificate or anything else I can help you with, just call 392-3800.

NOTE: If someone has beaten you to the punch (ie, I'm in a massage session), the phone is silent. Please leave a detailed message, and I'll call you between appointments!

Cynthia Given, LMT
Olney Taekwondo Center
233 E. Main St.
Olney, IL 62450

(618) 392-3800
http://olneygreenspa.genbook.com

If you'd like a massage or you'd like to give one as a gift, I recommend a 30 minute (children or first-timers) or 60 minute Swedish massage (everyone else).

SERVICES
:: m a s s a g e ::
not just relaxation!
__________________
Active Stretching,
Acupressure,
Chair Massage,
Clinical Massage,
Deep Tissue Massage,
Geriatric Massage,
Massage Therapy,
Pregnancy Massage,
Spa Treatments,
Sports Massage,
Stone Therapy,
Swedish Massage,
Trigger Point Massage (and more!)

BOOK ONLINE

The Day I Figured "It" Out

2008-10-28T23:39:00.000-07:00

I finally figured "it" out... "it" being the key to my training.

Tuesday, when I came in to class (late again), I wasn't focused on taekwondo. In fact, sometimes I'm REALLY ho-hum about training at night after I've spent all day trying to improve my small business (and a little time surfing martial arts websites). Like many extroverts, I learn by socializing and having fun. As you know, martial arts is very much an individual journey.

Tuesday night we had a pre-tournament. Colored belts were grouped as a ring (I'm a blue belt, an intermediate rank in my style). In the nine months I've spent sparring, I've never won for 100 reasons. I don't "get" much out of sparring... probably because I wasn't putting much into it. I've been so afraid of kicking someone in the head that I just avoid it altogether.

But Tuesday, I decided to just spar. No worrying.

Something clicked. I switched up stances, interpreted their telegraphy, spun around, and yes, kicked people in the head. I have big boobs, and I even managed to protect my chest. Most importantly, I kept control and attitude at the forefront. No sense in being cocky or overpowering.

I beat every student in my ring/class. And after the pre-tournament training, I beat the highest ranking TKD student (a second degree black belt / trainee instructor).

Just do it! Everything else will follow.

Cindy
former slacker, currently awesome ;)

PS I'm in a ring with all black belts on Saturday, so don't expect miracles.
PPS I still don't like sparring that much, but I do like to win. :)

FREE CUPCAKES 11-2

2008-10-24T09:49:00.000-07:00

FREE CUPCAKES
11-2p TODAY

I'm volunteering at the Dem HQ in Olney.
Free cupcakes (yes, to everyone, even GOPs).

--Cindy ♥

The HQ is on Market around the corner from Ophelia's/Ken's Barber/all that on Whittle. If you want more details, call me 392-3800.
(my work number, since I don't give out my cell)

neighborhood thief

2008-10-18T14:21:00.000-07:00

I do NOT want to push my "agenda" on anybody else. I do apologize if this offends anyone. I merely post it to bring attention to the fact that sign stealing is ridiculous and childish. I'm not blaming the "other" party, who I seriously doubt is going around stealing signs.

The pic is linked to an IDENTICAL story!

You'll notice I made another contribution, have another sign, and now the Obama campaign has more money. Thank you.
--Cindy ♥

PS It's one thing to disagree, it's quite another to be a giant [word removed lol].

Blue belt (CRAP!)

2008-10-11T18:45:00.001-07:00

I kinda blew it.

I earned a full rank promotion, but while I was on the mats demonstrating my skills (or skillz lol), I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and said, "CRAP!!" I even didn't mess up... just got caught off guard. But yeah, I said "CRAP!!" Classy.

My new resolution is not to say anything embarrassing. Sure, everyone laughed (even the judges), but it's not cool to lose focus like that. It took me a second to figure out that I'd said it out loud, but I went right back into "martial arts" mode and gave a strong finish.

There's no way of guaranteeing that I won't be in front of the mirror again, but I'll definitely remember to keep my thoughts to myself.

Next week, I will be a blue belt.

purple to blue

2008-10-10T12:57:00.000-07:00

Well, tonight is my latest belt/rank test.

I don't think I am as prepared as I should be (as usual), but my instructor disagrees. I try to do everything right, but I have a lot of work to do as far as balance is concerned.

At my martial arts school, most of the students are children. That's good, because it makes us adults look better when we test. haha

I hope to not repeat the mistake learned at my previous belt/rank test. I ate blueberry and granola cereal before the test and cannot tell you how unsettled my stomach was. A student asked to go through a form together, and I gotta tell you... jumping around so much has never made me so nervous. lol

Of course, my foot was asleep when they called my name at the test, too. Awesome. I went out there with my leg asleep and still managed to do okay. I felt really bad, but it's not like you can just say "Hey, I need a few minutes. My leg is asleep."

Here's hoping I don't repeat last test's mistakes. After all, I have plenty to make this time.

Most testing scores are divided into categories. Ours are: form (your rank-appropriate form and previous ones if you're an advanced rank), free sparring, one-step sparring or sparring segments (choreographed combinations), board breaking, and self-defense. You really don't know whether you are going to pass or not until you go out there and do something. My school doesn't do "graduations" where everyone always passes and advances. Different ranks have different forms. There is no blocking. There is no "party" atmosphere. It's not a McDojo. Sure, we primarily learn strikes, but our ground fighting component focuses on what to do if you can't stay up. What's the point in only learning how to fight standing up?

Cindy's formulas for most altercations.

1) Two guys throw wild haymakers, one guy lands it and knocks the other guy to the ground, lucky guy mounts unlucky guy and pummels him until U.G. goes unconcscious or until cops/bar bouncer gets things under control. The whole thing lasts like 15 seconds.

2) Guy takes girl to the ground to rape her, and if she doesn't fight back, he succeeds.

See a pattern? Fights go to the ground. I think it's good to be ready for that possibility, and my instructor thinks so, too.

I suck a little at self defense not because I can't do it, but because I can't remember it. Believe me, I'll end up doing something, but it won't necessarily be what I learned in class. If nothing else fails, knee the groin, elbow the face. :)

I'm glad to have plans this weekend that don't involve taekwondo. I mean Friday I have a belt/rank test, but Saturday I'm visiting family!

took me forever, but...

2008-10-08T17:30:00.000-07:00

I finally created a blog.

I post a lot of stuff in a lot of places, but I wanted to wait to create a blog because I wanted to create it from the ground up. Sure, I blog on MySpace and a few other spots, but sometimes I forget what-gets-posted-where.

I figure this way, I'll write it here and link back to this page.

I spent a fair amount of time designing the graphics and layout. It took me forever to find help getting a PayPal button to work on this page. I used Paint, MS Picture Manager, and Photoshop (not very well, I might add) to cobble a graphic that suits me just fine. Let's just say matching color between programs is kind of a pain.

I don't know anything about computers. I'll be the first to admit that if I can't look it up, and winging it doesn't work, it just ain't gonna happen.

But this blog will mostly capture what's going on.

As I write this, I have three things going on in my head.

1. I need to practice my sparring segment (martial arts rank test = Friday, Oct. 10).
2. Homework does not do itself, and I don't think I'll be doing any tonight, either.
3. I need to hop in the shower so I can sleep as long as possible before I have to perform a massage at 2:oopm on Thursday.

Oh, and I'm so broke.
Oh, and tonight's The Ultimate Fighter's episode had better not disappoint me.

I guess that is five things.

At any rate, here's to really blogging about what's going on in my life.