Friday, January 2, 2015

Why I stopped training

I quit taekwondo after my eardrum ruptured the first time. I ended up spending most of the year trying to make up for lost income, and now I'm so busy with my business that it's really the only thing I spend time on anymore.

Sorry. No more taekwondo posts. I still go to class, but I'm not pursuing my next belt. I mean, you probably figured that out after I quit testing five years ago.

Business in the front. Party in the nowhere. Taekwondo is out of the frame.

Monday, May 5, 2014

I made it through the spring, and I'm back from spring break with a tan!

I've had a boom in business this spring (thus the absence from my blog and from taekwondo). It's ok... I'm having fun.

My mom graduates from esthetics school on Friday. How exciting! I'll be adding her to my clinic as soon as she can legally perform skincare services.

Mother's Day is next Sunday. I plan on spending it with Mom. She's coming up on Saturday to help me do chair massages and sell gift certificates at the coffee shop.

No progress on college. I've given up on it for now. It's just not a priority when I have so much going on at my business. But I don't regret pressing pause. My business is my top priority!

My birthday is in a month... what to do? Last year I was in Massachusetts, and I thoroughly enjoyed the surprise party my family planned for me.

This year I'd be happy with all freshly laundered and folded linens at the clinic. It's my dream to be completely caught up on laundry there, but I still take everything home because there's no washer/dryer hookups there.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014


So much (and so little) has changed. My business takes up most of my time these days, and I've pretty much given up on advancing my martial arts training. Just too busy.

I paid for an academic class in August, and I have yet to read more than a handful of pages. Obviously I'm focused on money because I get a more immediate reward. Life is full of choices. | about Cynthia | on Twitter

Thursday, November 28, 2013

She's alive!

(To clarify, the "she" is my mother who had a scary bout with faulty wiring.)

Mom lost her job last year, and she's really not able to work as a nurse anymore (in my opinion). But esthetics training has given her a reason to get up, socialize, and think about her future. I've been helping her along, and it looks like she'll be working with me after she graduates next year.

But this week was rough. She's suddenly homeless, needed her license plates renewed, and a received a ticket for the plates (expired). Still, it's Thanksgiving. She's alive after being zapped by faulty wiring in her home, and it's time to celebrate.

My boyfriend and I are driving to see her and my sister's kids for Thanksgiving dinner. After that, I'll head to what's sure to be an awkward supper at Dad's house... considering what happened earlier this year. I wasn't invited to Dad's until yesterday, but I suppose it's still an invitation, right?

Tune in next time as I pretty much say exactly what I want for Christmas. It's no big deal (no, really). I already have a successful business and a family that loves me very much. | about Cynthia | on Twitter

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

I suppose that is that.

Today is the last day I will be required to write my ex stepfather's full name on any sort of official document: a check for his cremation expense. He was once a very important person in my life who passed away due to lung cancer earlier this year. He listed me as a beneficiary for his life insurance, showing that I was important to him (like he was to me).

I have been overwhelmed since he passed away in April. I've wanted to "escape," and two vacations have not brought me any closer to the relief I've been chasing. But today I let my anxiety go: my third attempt at writing the check for Larry's funeral expenses was a success.

But it indeed took three attempts.

First, I tried to write it at the end of May, just before I went to Massachusetts. I didn't get past opening my checkbook before I realized I wasn't ready. I tried again last night. I broke down for the better part of an hour.

As a trial run, I bargained with myself by only scribbling the check's amount on a scrap of paper. Tears welled in my eyes, and my face felt hot with anger and sadness just like it did the day he died in front of me.

The next step was simple, but it truly sapped me of all strength: I placed the slip of paper and my sister's check in the envelope.

The plain, white envelope became an anchor of grief for the next 24 hours, pulling my thoughts lower and lower. I sat in my living room, consumed by darkness until I imagined Larry telling me, "Hell, just write the check. It won't bring me back any damn way." Not exactly eloquent, but he was right. And just like that, I grabbed my checkbook and scribbled the amount I had practiced the day before.

This time it was for real.

I tucked it beside my sister's check, sealed the envelope.
I suppose that is that. | about Cynthia | on Twitter